10 Year Trip

Last week we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. We saved up for a couple of years to do something special and, in November, we booked a trip to Cancun. On Saturday we got back from spending 7 days at a beautiful resort. We met up with good friends, Graham and Brie, who got married two weeks after we did. There are so many stories about our adventures. It was the best time. I took notes throughout our trip to get all the details down, but for now I just want to get some pictures up. We swam, snorkeled, ate, drank, laughed, slept, relaxed, played, hiked. We went. We saw. We did.

Happy Birthday to You...

Dear Josh,

Happy birthday. Here are some top reasons why I am thrilled you entered the world 36 years ago.

1. You are a gangster. As this picture shows, you know how to throw your signs and pucker your lips that lets people know not to mess. Obviously you are a big tough guy.

 2. You are Darth Vader. Need I say more? I mean, I am married to DARTH VADER.

 3. You remain tough, even during cultural holidays, with paint all over your clothes and face while drinking a beer.

 4. You are a singer. I've seen you onstage and you would be the next Idol if only they judged on charisma, enthusiasm, entertainment, impersonations and allowed an Idol to be just a bit off key at times.

I will add the following reasons (as if the top 4 reasons are not reason enough).

5. I get to laugh every single day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

6. I get to be a part of you being a dad to our kids- an incredible thing to watch and be a part of. You are the epitome of a kid person. You are an inspirational parent.

7. You are hot.

8. You are who you are in every aspect of your life. What you see is what you get. You never apologize for being you and you never should.

9. I am proud to be your wife. I love being introduced to people I don't know and getting compliments about you and how well you are respected and liked. I beam from it.

10. You are an awesome friend to so many people. You are a "one of a kind" man.

 Joni and Lloyd, thanks for having Josh and raising him the way you did. Thanks for being born, Josh. You are the best person I know. I couldn't be more in love. I couldn't be happier.

Happy Birthday.

Posts

When I started this blog it was for family record keeping. Instead of keeping detailed records of stories and happenings in our family, I would just blog about it. I still do that, but realize sometimes I am hesitant to write about certain things. Sometimes I am reflective and other times I just want to record. Some people may not want to read what we did each day of our vacation, but then I always remember the beauty of having a blog- no one has to read it!
There have been some days when I have just wanted to write about my kids and how proud I am of them. I have resisted because I didn't want to be "bragging."
I need to get over it (and I think I have). This blog will be so cool for the kids to look at and read throughout the years. They already love the old pictures and videos from when they were babies.

I write this to warn you- I don't think I am going to be holding back. If I want my kids to see it someday and I want a record of it myself, then it's going in. I won't be editing my thoughts. I will be capturing everything and anything I am thinking or feeling. So, I'll start with Josh...

Josie Isabel

On June 20th, our new niece joined our family. Josie is perfection. She is already letting Meredith and Nate get some nice sleep (only wakes up once a night) and is the cutest little thing. Haley and Ryan are very excited to have a new cousin!

Pinecrest 2012

We just got back from our annual trip to Pinecrest. This is definitely a highlight of every year for me. I LOVE to camp. LOVE. Camping at Pinecrest brings back so many fond memories of going there as a kid and it is so special to be creating new memories with my family and friends.

The time there was fabulous. No drama or tension with kids or adults. This vacation is not that relaxing since camping is a ton of work- much easier to camp as a kid, but being in nature with the beautiful surroundings you see, brings me into a complete calm and inner peace. I am completely unplugged from the world. It's pure heaven.

The weather was perfect. The lake was refreshing but all of us swan in it. We couldn't get the kids out and we didn't have to since we were on no time crunch. Like I said, heaven.

My parents came by on Friday to see everyone and enjoy a swim in the lake. They stayed for a few hours and enjoyed being there after so many years. That was a special time for me. I love that my parents are so easy and everyone was happy to see them. My friends tried to convince them to stay for dinner. Even though they declined, it's nice to know that others enjoy my parents as much as I do.

 Each year the moms, then the dads go on the 4 mile hike around the lake. Does it get any better than that? Great adult conversation, a stop along the way for drinks and snacks, great exercise and a stunning view.

The week before we left we had some friends over for dinner and I was introduced to the term "planking." For those of you out of the loop, like I was, planking is laying flat as board, face down, and taking a picture. It's a popular thing for kids to do. I think it is so random and hilarious! I had to try it. I admit, it was really funny and I laughed the whole time trying it. It is so ridiculous!

I am still unpacking and running laundry. All of the tents and tubs will go back into the attic tonight. Another awesome trip down. I am already looking forward to next year!

Confrontation- It's Never Fun

Today we met up with some families from Haley's school for a play day at the beach. The weather was PERFECT and the company, even better.
When we arrived in Santa Cruz we drove up and saw that a person was just getting into his car. Parking is not easy at this beach and the fact that we found a spot right up front and wouldn't need to drive around the neighborhood and park blocks away, made me happy.

Do you see where this is going?

I waited, with my blinker on, for approx 3 minutes while the man packed it all up and reversed out of his spot. Just then I saw a car pull forward that just came down the street. Her friend was waving her into the spot. I honked my horn, the friend looked at me, and continued to wave her in. I honked again as the woman pulled into the spot.

As an adult, I am not afraid of confrontation. I don't prefer it, but I don't fear it. As a kid, I avoided it like the plague.

The woman acted as though she was on the phone when she started unloading her car. I honked the horn again and rolled down my window.

Me: Hi. I've been waiting for that spot for 3 minutes.
Her: I'm sorry? I can't hear you.

Yes, because I am a very quiet woman.

Me (louder): I've been waiting for that spot with my blinker on, for 3 minutes.
Her: I'm sorry, I didn't see you.
Me: Ok...well, I was waiting.
Her: I'm sorry. I didn't see you.
Me:........
Her: Do you expect me to move?
Me: I think you should do what you think is right.
Her...kept unloading her car.

Now, this was really not about a parking spot. It's the fact that it was unjust. I understand she didn't see me, even though her friend did. I gave her the opportunity to make it right. I know that if it was reversed, I would move out of the spot. In fact, I have done that before.

I found parking elsewhere. Then Haley asked why I yelled at that woman. I told her the only reason I raised my voice was because she said she couldn't hear me. I told her that the woman made a mistake.

We got down to the beach and our group was close to hers. She avoided me completely. I didn't like that the day started that way. The kids were playing and having fun. I decided that I was going to say something to the woman and I wanted the kids with me.

I walked over to her and she was visibly uncomfortable.

Me: I just wanted to come over and say that I'm sorry we started our day that way.
Her (visibly relieved that she was not about to take a lashing, exhaled and put her hand to her heart): I'm sorry too. I really am. I didn't see you and I know how frustrating that is when you have two kids in the car.

Now, a younger me would have retaliated with "but your friend saw me and I told you I was waiting and you STILL didn't move."

Me: Thank you for your apology. I appreciate it.
Her: Enjoy the day at the beach.
Me: Yes, it's beautiful, you enjoy it too.

I did the right thing. I was not sorry that I honked my horn and said something to her. I was not sorry about the words I chose. I was not sorry that I approached her later and I was not sorry that my kids saw every part of the interaction and that I interrupted their play time to come with me to talk with her.

I was sorry that the day started like that, so my words to her were sincere. I am sure she was surprised I approached her afterwards and said what I did.

We had a gorgeous day at the beach.

I am proud I was much calmer than the bathroom line on New Year's Eve 1999- a classic tale of the injustice of cutting in line. :)

Parenting- It's Damn Hard

This family made raising a family look easy. When a mistake was made, the lesson was learned immediately with an "Oh golly gee Mom, I'm real sorry. I never thought of it that way. It won't happen again." AND IT DIDN'T!

I became a mom in 2005. I parent every day of my life and realize I will for the rest of my life. It's hard work. REALLY hard work. What I mean by that is even on the easiest day -no whining, fighting, melt downs- there are all of these moments that require parenting or little lessons. Unlike the Cleavers (and if you don't know "Leave it To Beaver" go check out a few minutes of one episode), things don't always wrap up with a smile in 30 minutes.

When I first had Haley I read a lot. I had books on hand to read about feeding, bathing, sleeping and developmental stages. As funny as this sounds, books and magazine articles and the Internet were not the best approach for me. It made me question my parenting and question my child's abilities. It made me insecure and who needs that as a new parent? So, I stopped reading as much and starting observing. I watched parents interact with their kids. I listened to tones. I saw moms and dads get down to the child's level and look them in the eye. I watched as a parent would take their child aside and speak to him versus yelling across the way or disciplining him in front of everyone. I also saw behaviors I wanted to stay away from (telling children they are being ridiculous for not wanting to ride a roller coaster or put their faces in the water).

I took what I liked and left what I didn't. I still do this all of the time. I have been so surprised at the things that I find hard to teach. My children have manners, but how do I teach them to BE grateful? How do I instill a value system that is consistent with ours? Why can you describe someone as tall, thin, by eye color or hair color, by what they are wearing, but not fat or by the color of their skin? 


I have been surprised at how parenting is an on the spot job. You don't know what the day will bring you, what will come out of your children's mouths, how they will act or react. Josh and I parent from our values and approaches we find natural and from what we've seen from, what we consider, good parenting.

A good friend just went to a speaker night about parenting. The speaker explained that we should raise our families with a goal in mind. Of course we want it all- well rounded, well adjusted, smart kids. She explained to pick the three values that are most important to you and drive those home. Josh and I talked about it and it was not easy as we listed so many things! We decided on our top 4 (couldn't leave it at 3)
We want our kids
1. to be kind
2. to be respectful
3. to have self worth
4. to live by a set of morals/ values that we find just

She said to keep those things in mind when parenting and wanting an outcome with your children and to base all decision making on those goals. Interesting and makes sense!!
Being a mom is the best job I've ever had. It's cliche, but it's true. I am always learning and reflecting. I have old posts about my thoughts here and here.
I am doing the best I can. My kids know that we love them. That feels good.

Now, wouldn't it be an awesome "Saturday Night Live" skit to have the Cleavers deal with Wally on drugs or The Beave in jail or Mr. Cleaver gong through a midlife crisis or Mrs. Cleaver hitting menopause? Something to make them real!!