A Letter to My Family 2013

From youngest to oldest...

Dear Ryan,
2013 has been a year full of growth. I see how hard you work at doing the right thing and "keeping it together" when things don't go your way. The changes I have seen are tremendous.. I am proud of how you treat others and the wonderful manners you have all the time. You are a fun friend and a kind soul. You are sensitive and I can see your wheels turning when you are processing something. I love the questions you ask. You are so funny, you make us laugh every single day. You are a good little brother by always including Haley in what you are playing. I love that your goal is to get your sister to laugh at you. I adore how playful you are. I am in awe of your imagination. The books that you write and the stories that you come up with blow me away. I love that you cuddle with me. I am impressed that you are so into reading and wanting to learn to read all the words. You are doing so well at school and I am so happy that you have found your comfort in kindergarten. I know how frustrated you get when you are interrupted or don't have undivided attention when trying to say something. I hope I am being the mom you need me to be. I wouldn't change anything about you. I see you. I hear you. I appreciate you and all you add to our family. I love you.

Dear Haley,

This year I have seen you find a comfort zone in yourself. As my oldest child, all of your new phases are new to me as a parent. Thank you for bringing these life experiences to me. I admire that you like what you like, play with who you play with, wear what you want to wear (even though I argue about it sometimes- how are you not freezing sometimes?), read what you want to read, and participate in what you want to participate in. You are an old soul and I trust your sense of character in others. You are a good big sister by being Ryan's friend and playmate among other things.. I appreciate that you are playful and kind. You are responsible and are becoming more independent all the time.I love that you stay up past your bedtime because you can't put a book down. I am very much impressed with your incredible artistic talents. I cherish any moment you show physical affection as I know that you have never been very "touchy feely".You are changing, physically, and I hope that I am being the mom you need and that you feel comfortable to ask any questions you have. I wouldn't change anything about you. I hear you. I see you. I appreciate you and all you add to our family. I love you.

Dear Me,
This year was a year of reminding and relearning. I know I slipped back into some old ways in particular aspects of my life. These are things I have worked hard at and I feel I was tested with this year. I am recovering from my relapse and feel good about how I am going back to the way I worked so hard to be.  I want to model this for my children. When I ask the question, "Does this affect me or my family?", if the answer is no, my path is clear. I need to not spend time, energy or thoughts on issues that I have no control over. I have learned this lesson, more than once. Some lessons need to be relearned. I am proud that I have not hated my body this year, but have turned my thoughts into only loving ones that include appreciating all my body can do.I promise to spend more time on flexibility and core strength as well as meditation versus "super sweaty work outs" as I know it will pay off in the long run and gives me calm and peace in the present. I have done a good job at being consistent with my expectations for Haley and Ryan.Even though I am having a nice year at school, I know something needs to change. I think the work with Common Core will be exactly what I need to shake things up a bit. I take pride in who I choose to be in my life- all people who lift me and my family up and bring even more light into our lives. I'm bored with my hair. What should be next? And for Pete's sake, be in more pictures. The fact that I couldn't find a single, current photo is just pathetic. Other than that, I am happy with who I am and am proud that I continuously work on being better. I wouldn't change that about myself.

Dear Josh,
I feel like this year you hit the jackpot. Both literally (see above) and metaphorically. You are an extraordinary person and this year you seemed to just kind of burst out. You accomplish so much as a husband, father, son, brother, friend, and employee. This year people took notice. More than normal. It excites me. I admire how you have endless energy with the kids. I mean, who else can pretend, create new games, and wrestle for hours at a time? I cherish the way you communicate with me and that you really listen to and validate what I feel. You are incredibly funny. Ryan gets his awesome (and silly) sense of humor from you. You are thoughtful and kind and creative. You are an amazing role model for me and the kids.You teach us that we don't need to just think about our aspirations, but can go for them in the moment. Nothing stops you from going for what you want. I hope that I am the wife you need me to be. I wouldn't change anything about you.  I hear you. I see you. I appreciate you and all you add to our family. I love you.

The Russell Four- Let's rock 2014!

A Day for the Books

A few weeks ago I had a stand out day in my life. The stars aligned and all 3 of my family members were recognized for different things. Josh was even recognized twice in one day! He was surprised by the one in the evening, but was sure something was up when I showed up to his work event with Haley and Ryan. I felt the high of the day's events for quite a few days. My pride did not come from the awards themselves. My fulfillment came from the fact that others are seeing in my family members the same things I see and adore in each one of them. They were all being recognized for who they are. I get to see their spirits all of the time. It is quite something when others see it and honor it. It was a proud, proud day.

Why no picture of Ryan, you ask? I had no idea that his class would be honored at the assembly that day. I was just showing up for Haley's assembly and happened to catch the end of Ryan's. When he saw me, he assumed I was there for him. Well, good thing his class was awarded! :) I'll never tell.

I do realize my last few posts have been rather boastful. I am very conscientious about what I write and never want to be "that mom." But, this is where life is right now and I want to capture it for my family. I am a happy lady and a proud mom and wife. This time last year was devastating, heart breaking and stressful with everything with my brother. I want to celebrate all that is good in life.

I want my kids and husband to be able to read this years from now and know how much I basked in their light.

Plus, I write about the other stuff too, so there it is.

Life on Stage

The last 2 months have been quite different in our household. Josh was cast in a play that required him at the theater and average of 5 days a week. It was a big commitment but we were all excited for him as he has not been on stage in YEARS.

The play, "The Sunshine Boys" by Neil Simon, is not a children's show, but definitely appropriate for the kids to see their dad in. So, on the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend, the 3 of us headed to the theater for the matinee show.

The kids were oozing with excitement! When we walked in the theater doors there are pictures of the actors on the wall. There was Josh! "Ryan, look! Dad is famous!"
We then sat down and looked through the program. Haley read through Josh's bio, which included the fact that he has children, "Ryan, look! We're famous!" They also happened to their grandparents there (Joni and Lloyd were one row away with family friends) to share their excitement with.

Josh's entrance started with a knock on the door and saying "Uncle Willy, it's me, Ben!" It happened about 5 minutes into the show. And when the kids heard Josh's voice they both shot their head toward one another and their faces lit up. Dad was coming out on stage! Josh had a big part so we were able to watch him for the majority of the show. It was so cool to watch the kids watch him. Being the family of a star, we were able to see the stage and backstage and dressing room after the show. 

They were full of questions during and after the show and every night Josh left for a performance. "Dad, is Uncle Willy your real uncle?" "Did that man really swallow a stick?" "When you're not there, is Uncle Willy at his house alone?"- all from Ryan.

The experience is one I know that they will remember. Haley asked to see it a number of times after that, but I knew once was enough. That night, when Josh tucked Ryan in, Ryan stopped him on the way out, and just like a Hallmark commercial, said, "Daddy? I'm really proud of you."

The show ended last weekend and last night I was upstairs running laundry. The soundtrack of the household was Josh playing with the kids and acting as if they were in a strict boot camp..." Attention! Give me 10 push ups, on the double!  1, 2, 3..." I laughed to myself as to Josh, life is a stage and his kids are his greatest audience. His imagination and creativity are infused in all aspects of our family life. The kids eat it up.I love that he has it because I sure don't.

We are glad he's back and that all stage work has returned to being done in house. Bravo, Josh! We are all proud of you.

Santa's Lap 2013

This year Ryan asked for a DS and Haley asked for a Rainbow Loom. Santa noticed how tall Haley had gotten over the year and her face lit up. He also told the kids that he knows they get along most of the time but need to work on the little bit they argue. He pretty much got that one right :)
We'll find out Christmas morning if they were naughty or nice!