Yesterday I celebrated my 11th Mother's Day as a mom. I still feel like a rookie every single day. It's funny because I have thought about so many things to write in this post, as being a mom entails so much, but I will stick with the dream I had Mother's Day Eve.
I had a dream that I had the kids at the beach and they ran into school kids I didn't recognize. I thought how nice and fun it would be for the kids. As they played, at one point, I noticed Haley's body language change in the group she was in. I observed from my beach chair and knew something was up. A minute later, she walked over and sat down next to me. I asked her what was going on and she said it was no big deal. I asked her what happened and she told me that she was being teased and she told me exactly what the kids had said to her.
Although it was a dream, it was vivid (as all my dreams are) and I could feel the heat starting in my chest and rising to my face. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and I looked over at the kids laughing and playing after hurting my child. I gritted my teeth and charged over to the kids, feeling my rage growing with every heavy footed step. I wildly laid into all of them. I don't remember what I said, but I remember losing it completely and the anger being out of control. You see, Haley was fine and I was blowing a gasket.
This is motherhood. Of course I would never charge a group of 11 year olds and start screaming (well, at least I haven't yet) but the point is, I would definitely want to.Being a mom is no friggin' joke. It's like in certain scenes in movies when you see a part played out of what the character wants to do, instead of what s/he actually does. That happens to moms all the time. We picture ridding ANYONE who brings any sort of harm to our children. I feel feelings I have never felt before.
I feel fierce.
I feel like a warrior.
I feel unstoppable- un-mess-with-able (look for that word coming soon on Urban Dictionary).
I feel love like no other.
I would do ANYTHING for them to be ok and better than ok and pain free and have their needs met. ANYTHING.
And that about sums it up. Happy Mother's Day!
