This year has been a pinnacle time in my professional life. This year just feels different. I have always felt upbeat about what I do. When I have had those times when I have felt beat down I have simply stood back up, brushed off, and kept moving full steam ahead. This is still who I am as an educator, but feel like I am on the verge of a burst through, break out, I don't know what to call it. Things are happening this year and I know it's for a reason. I am supporting two teachers who are complete opposites and I am learning and seeing and understanding so much. I have already posted twice about "Waiting for Superman" and realize that anyone who asks me about it can get me talking for as long as they can handle it.
My true belief is that we need to start with a system change. We are in crisis. Yes, you have read this all before, I know. All of that is still there, but in the last few weeks I cannot help but look at other factors. I am one to look at an issue and only see my part in it. What can I do better? What can I do or say so that others are doing better? After all, in all of this I am the only one I can control.
The talk is that education is flawed, but why? The stakes have never been higher and we are clinging on to dear life to make our goals. But what are our goals, really? We look at test scores. That's all the public knows. In the last couple of weeks I have really looked at our kids. These kids are different from when I started teaching only 12 years ago. I sound like an old biddy, but really. They are, in general and with exception, waiting for things to be spoon fed. Every single test I give is open note/open book. I base all of my assessments on what we have done in class, I lift exact wording from our class work. When I first started teaching I NEVER would have done this. I didn't like when students were failing so I have slowly changed the policies to ensure student success. Every student can re take a test if they got lower than a B for a new grade of nothing higher than a B. Most kids who get the low grades do not choose to re take. My question is, how can we change our model to fit the need of the new generation of students without completely lowering our expectations? Lately I have been frustrated with the piece we cannot control, the home piece. Many of my students have support and have families that are on top of it. Many of them do not and it kills me that I am expecting one thing and the expectation at home is quite different. It's hard trying to help a student when they have no interest in helping his/herself.
The spotlight is on test scores, test scores, test scores. We are forgetting that these are CHILDREN who come to school needing something other than a math lesson sometimes. They need a hug or some food or just to know that they are loved and safe.
What's my point? I think this week I wished a movie would be made about another aspect of the problem. I am still recommending the movie to everyone. Everyone needs to know that these things are happening. People would also be outraged at a movie that spotlighted families with certain attitudes or parents that bully teachers and coddle children. We all need to understand that the issues are many fold.
Last week, after a constructive meeting about picking our target students and what we are going to do for them, I sat at my desk and started to laugh. I said, "My job is insane" out loud to the nothingness in my room as I continued to laugh. It is insane and I love it.
I guess that's all I have to say. I wish I could be better at really narrowing down what it is I want the message to be, but I really do have so much swirling around in my brain. That's why this year is different. I am more passionate about it all than I have been.
Back to work tomorrow. Consider this post my "brush off" after feeling just a bit beat down by the kids this week.
...Ryan did not. Poor guy was completely overwhelmed by the crowds and the chaos. Running with Daddy did not help him feel better.
After the race we came home and got cleaned up for turkey dinner at my parents' house. It was perfection as it always is. This morning we woke up and got right up in the attic to get down all of the holiday stuff. We decorated to the sounds of John Denver and the Muppets singing our favorite carols. Then we got dressed for a new adventure.
ICE SKATING! The outdoor rink opened up last weekend. We met up with some friends last minute and enjoyed slipping and sliding on our ice skates. Josh took Ryan to look at Christmas in the park and ride the cars. Haley was so excited to learn this new skill. She took two hard falls but it did not stop her. By the end of the 90 minutes of skating she was letting go of the wall and even moving around some people. It was a success. She told me that when she turns 6 she'll be able to go into the middle by herself where all the fast skaters go.
5 days of vacation=aaahhhhhhhh.
