A Crazy December

Taking a rest in the neighbor's yard on Christmas Day.

Christmas in the Park.

A girls' trip to see "Princess and the Frog." Tiana is a new favorite! She works hard and is independent. The best kind of princess!

Haley had a holiday performance for school. It was darling, of course. She is front left.

Yuba City Christmas was a hit. It is always so fun to have the whole family together. The drink contest isn't so bad either!

Santa was very good to us! A skateboard and pads for Haley and a Rescue Pack for Ryan. I got a new gym bag and running shoes and hoodie and Josh got tickets to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. The first thing Haley did after she ran down the stairs was go straight for the plate of cookies and apples we left for Santa and his reindeer. "LOOK! He ate the cookies and fed his reindeer! HE WAS HERE!!!!" Ryan rubbed his eyes and took his time coming down the stairs. He's not at the age quite yet.
The Russell family treated all of us to a couple of nights at a beach house in Santa Cruz. It has been hard with the loss of Grandpa Irv last week and this is exactly what was needed.
It was another wonderful holiday season. Parties, friends, and family. We are truly so blessed.

Sometimes I Am Reminded

Last night Haley and Ryan were in the bath playing. Ryan started to do something really goofy and Haley was cracking up. I loved watching as Ry kept doing it over and over to make his sister laugh. I saw Jason and me as kids. My brother, who is 12 months younger, used to make me laugh until my sides hurt. He made everything funny no matter where we were. I would laugh so much that it usually ended up getting him in trouble because I egged him on so much! I remember thinking that when I became a mom I would want my kids to be a year apart just like Jason and me. Of course, reality hit once we had Haley and I remember thinking- I would be pregnant now?! I just had her!!! Wow, Mom and Dad...crazy!

Watching the kids in the bath made me sad that my brother is not part of my life and really hasn't been for many years. I have no idea what being an addict is like, but I know what it is to be a sibling of an addict who calls prison home. I think of him back then and think of how much potential he had. It may be silly, but after all the ins and outs of rehab, jail, and even prison, I hold a small glimmer of hope for his future. Maybe he will get well and it will last and he can be part of our lives. I think it is interesting that Haley remembers "Uncle Dude" as she points him out in pictures, but she never asks where he is or why we don't see him. I am glad because I really don't know what to say. I have no idea what this is like for my parents.

I have very fond memories of Jason. Seeing the kids in the bath last night was just like looking back to 30 years ago. I watched them play with a smile on my face.

Here It Is

It Was Bound To Happen

I think cutting your own hair is something most of us have done. Tonight Josh was reading Haley a book in bed and found this chunk of hair by her bed. He asked her what it was and she immediately started apologizing and then crying when she had to tell me what happened. This was the same night she decided to do glitter glue in her bed and was told afterward that she could only do it on the table.

The good news is that although it was a nice chunk of hair, it was on the underside and we don't have to do any repair. It is a good sign that it happened two nights ago and we didn't notice. I think she learned her lesson. The poor thing is so sensitive and could barely tell me what happened she was crying so hard. Of course, Josh and I got back to our room and started laughing.

It's Fact

We have the cutest nieces in the world. In alphabetical order...

Santa's Lap

Saw Santa tonight. Last year the picture was of him and the kids. This year it was all four of us (will post soon) since Ryan was not having it without us. Haley COULD NOT WAIT! For about a month she talked about how she wanted a doll castle. This weekend she saw our friends from San Diego and played with Ellie on skateboards. Tonight, yes she did, she asked Santa for a skateboard. It was very cute to see her interact with him and talk about the holiday. She promised him a cookie and milk under the tree along with a slice of apple for his reindeer. This was her 5th trip seeing the big man!

Ryan was just kind of enamored with the whole thing. It was fun to watch. He was also very interested in the animals that surrounded Santa's...throne? What do you call that thing?

I must say that it is very cool that we have the same Valley Fair Santa in all our pictures. I have found out through talking with him through the years that he lives in the midwest and comes out here every year. I know that last year he and Mrs. Claus were put up in Santana Row. Such a jolly fella! My favorite season is here! It usually brings out the best in people.

I Kept My Cool

Social Studies, 6th period.
"Mrs. Russell? There is a cockroach in one of the supply baskets."
Calmly, "Is there anyone who does not mind critters?"
Student raises hand and takes basket outside.
Back to our lesson.
EEEEWWWWW! SO GROSSED OUT!

Mama Bear

I have learned yet another thing in my 4 years of being a mom. No one messes with my kids. Now, let me clarify by saying I am not the mom who comes to their rescue, say, at the park. I generally like to let them work it out or at least try. This is not what I mean. What I mean is when adults make judgments or comments I am not quiet about it. Let me share an example. Today we were at Walgreen's to pick up a few things. Haley was walking next to me while Ry was in the cart. I was looking at cards and Haley was next to the cart. An older woman said, "excuse me," Haley moved out of her way and the woman snarled and said something about "ridiculous" under her breath. When things like this happen I stay very calm, but I am not able to keep quiet. I simply replied. "it's ok. She's just a kid." And she retaliated with, "It is not easy for me to walk!" I calmly replied with, "Ok. But you said excuse me and she moved. There is no reason to react that way." We both moved on. This has probably happened half a dozen times since becoming a mother. When it does, I feel my demeanor change but I do want to be a good model of how to react to people. I know my children aren't saints and I think that we are pretty clear with our expectations for behavior. If they get called out on something that is unacceptable, I am the first one to deal with the issue with them. But I do have difficulty with people who are simply impatient with children for no reason. That's when I feel like Mama Bear protecting her cubs. I thought I was more easy going than that...guess not!

Mendocino

We had a fabulous weekend with great friends. As you can see, the weather was perfect. We played games, ate (Mikey is a world class chef!) and laughed...hard! Haley had a great time with Sarah and Ron's little guy and Ryan loved exploring the incredible house and yard.

We did confirm that Haley gets carsick. We haven't done this drive and the last 65 miles is extremely curvy. She was able to tell us that she was going to "spit up" and I pulled over. She made it into the bag the 2nd time and didn't the 3rd. Poor thing. And poor Josh for having to be the parent dealing with it. I, too, would have been sick if I wasn't driving. To top it off, Ryan screamed and cried off and on for about half of the trip. He had not napped that day and was generally cranky. When we finished the 200 miles 5 hours later, I got Ry out of the car only to discover he was soaked in his own urine. Needless to say, Josh and I voted it the car ride from hell. Haley's tummy hurt on the return trip, but she was able to keep it in.
We have the greatest friends. No matter how much time has passed, no time has passed at all. I love to laugh and this weekend was filled with the kind that hurts your temples. The best kind!!!

A Pirate

I realize that I am a bit of a pirate. Most Sunday mornings I am able to make it out to the track for a workout. I see many groups running, doing tai chi, working on the equipment, etc. There is only one group I tend to pay attention to. I watch the people with personal trainers and have realized that is how I have been getting my latest workouts. Oops! I want to take this opportunity to thank those people paying for a trainer on a Sunday morning. I am really learning a lot! I will then pass it forward to those I exercise with. :)

Judgment

In my adult life I have TRIED to show more compassion and pass less judgment. I have become more and more successful as time passes and I am exposed to more in life. But, when a mother leaves her two children to sleep in the car at night while she goes upstairs to sleep in her boyfriend's apartment, I am challenged to find compassion. As a teacher I see far more parents that love and care for their families than those of the opposite. I also know that some parents are doing their best and struggle with certain things. When I learn about something like this, I cannot help but feel anger and sadness. It would be one thing if they all lived in the car. But this selfish person is staying warm and cozy in a bed while her children stay in the car on the curb. I am glad this is not my student for I would fear how I would approach the mother. I hope that this child finds a way out. She has been dealt a tough hand and I hope she can gain the tools to succeed.

Halloween

Snow White loved trick or treating. Her dwarf was done before we even left.

It Should Be a Day

It's Halloween Day here at middle school...wish me luck! So far I have seen 3 dresses that are too short, about a dozen bees, and one pop tart. It's only 8:10 and the bell has yet to ring.

Montessori

When I was first researching where Haley should go to preschool I knew I liked what I had heard and read about Montessori. To put it very basically, it is a hands on, student lead approach to learning. Structure within choice. Once i toured her current school I knew I wanted her there. Last night confirmed that this is the right place for her. The school offered a parent night to really show the Montessori approach and how it applies to the school. I learned so much. Josh was home with the kids and the upholstery cleaners. :) One thing that stood out is that everything they do is from left to right, top to bottom. Everything. They explained that this helps prepare them for reading and writing, since those are the directions we do them in. I could write a huge page about all the "ah ha" moments I had, but this was the biggest and I am still thinking about it. They talked about how from birth to 6 are the development years. By 6 a personality is formed and that development phase is over. I can't help but wonder if we are doing enough during this phase? We LOVE our kids to no end, but to think that Haley is 4 plus years into the 6 and Ryan is a bit over 1 year in makes me hope that we are doing everything we can to foster who they are. I never want to wonder if we could have done more or what if we...? We want to be the best parents for our children. It is sometimes overwhelming to know the immense impact we have on their lives. I hope we are doing it right. We love our kids and wouldn't change anything about them. I just hope we are maximizing this developmental time. Sheesh...and we've only been parents for 4 and 1/2 years!!

Wise Words

"Mommy, when I am an adult I will know everything like you do."
The girl is wise beyond her years.

Ryan Translated

oowah= uh oh

doe!= go!

sis= Haley

AH BOT!= Batman (on his cup)

za= pizza

hop= help

hem (with a smile)=yes

ooh (with a head shake)= no

ooh ooh (in a tone)= thank you. And he says this approproiately. I will give him something and he will say "ooh, ooh."

hat=head

hat=hat

doo= two

Yes, he has other words, but these are the ones you need to translate.

Siblings

The Kids

From youngest to oldest...

Ryan- He is growing in every sense of the word. I look at him and see a little boy and can't believe I no longer have a baby at home. His personality is definitely shining through. He knows what he wants and he will LET YOU KNOW. He can be so playful and fun and then turn and be serious and intense and frustrated. We call him Jekyll and Hyde. He is verbal without use of many words. He is "talking" all of the time and gets frustrated if you don't understand him. He loves to climb and pound and shake. He likes riding in the wagon and on the little scooter. He likes to color (and eat the crayons). At Diane's he is very protective over his little cousin Drew. He will bring her her pacifier and go to her if she's upset. He loves to rough house and play chase. He loves books and will pick one out and walk over to the couch for you to sit and read with him. He makes animal sounds that are hilarious! On Saturday we went to get our flu shots and he was sitting on Josh's lap. When the nurse went to give Josh the spray, Ryan reached up and batted her hand away, basically saying, "Don't mess with my dad!" Ryan can't wait to see his sister every morning and after I pick him up. I will walk into the room and he will say, "sis! sis!"

Haley- In an earlier post I wrote of a drop off at preschool that was tough and involved tears. Apparently that was a one time thing. There have even been a few occasions when Haley has said, "Mommy, why did you pick me up so early? I wasn't ready to go!" Her teachers say she is doing great and that she wants to do well. She talks about the different kids and the things she's learning. Her favorite part of the day is "practical life" when she works at different stations with hands on activities. Her school has such a great feel. Soccer is going well too. She is the opposite of aggressive. It is so fun to watch her skip around the field and take notice of everything but the ball. She has been very into drawing and coloring pictures of family and flowers. We have been enjoying some chapter books too. She is a great help in the kitchen and often finds herself looking through colorful cookbooks and picking out recipes for us to try. It's been fun! Haley fully entertains her brother. They have become very much like siblings lately as Ryan wants anything that Haley has. They had their first tugging fight the other day over a toy. Yes, it was funny.

The kids are good. Growing every day (is it possible that Haley will be turning 5?). Will post a few pictures soon.

6th Grade Social

I realize it has been awhile since I have posted. Always lots going on. Last Friday I helped supervise the 6th grade social at our school. This is one of my favorite duties because these are my students in a whole new light. It was very appropriate. It was right after school until 5:00 with 2 jumpy houses, a game room, a snack bar, and a DJ. I almost felt like a fly on a wall watching my students in a different, more carefree element. I couldn't help but laugh at so many things. They were so excited all day on Friday in anticipation of the big event. Everyone kind of rushed the bounce houses and snack bar at once. They enjoyed nachos and snow cones. Soon, there were a few groups of kids dancing. The DJ played a few Michael Jackson songs and these kids screamed and hurried to the dance floor where they busted out some sweet MJ moves. There were boys just running around break dancing and sweaty. There were girls who just jumped up and down and did silly disco moves. Their "kid-ness" just oozed out. I often hear that kids are much "older" these days, but this event just reminded me that they really are just kids. Most of them just wanted to have some innocent fun. I think I smiled for two hours straight.

Back to School Night

Last night Josh and I went to Haley's first Back to School Night. Yes, I got a bit weepy and sentimental. The night was great as the staff talked about the school and we had a chance to look around and see the work Haley has been doing. We walked over to the little student tables and found her folder. She had decorated it in flowers and faces and people. Again, a bit weepy. :) We then opened up her folder and saw a few project she had been working on. The themes have been family and community. There was a cut out project of our house and a picture Haley had drawn of our family. It was very colorful and had three people on there that the teacher had labeled. There was "Mommy," "Daddy," and "my brother." Just the three of us without her. On the bottom there was a quote from Haley that said, "I am not in this picture because right now I am at preschool."
TOO FUNNY!!!

I Spy

4 things I saw at the track the other morning all within 30 minutes.

1. A young teenager running the track barefooted= funny

2. A little old lady (mid 70s?) in full protective gear riding a razor scooter around the track= funny.

3. A different little old lady texting on her iphone= funny

4. A pop warner football coach yelling at a little guy for missing a tackle= not funny

First Haircut

I don't need words to tell you how it went.

Comforting Reminder

Ok, Josh just emailed me with a very comforting note regarding the concerns in my post below. He reminded me that Haley did this with Diane's house too. It always happened after a break like summer or holiday. She would cry that she didn't want to go and then was totally fine and would have a great day according to Diane. How did I forget this? This makes me feel better. Must be a transition thing?

It Happened and It Sucked

This morning I mentioned that we should go get the book that Haley decided to bring to Show and Tell. She started to cry and she said she didn't want to go to preschool today. I asked her why she didn't want to go and she said she felt a little bit sick. I asked her if she liked her teachers and she said yes. I asked her if she liked the kids and she said yes. I asked if anyone was not nice to her or made her feel sad and she said no. These are things she has been honest about in the past so I believed her answers.

Let me rewind just a little bit. Yesterday when I picked Haley up she said, "Mommy, I love preschool. Can I go there forever?" and continued to ooze about show and tell and what she was going to bring. Her teacher talked about how she seems to really love it and has adjusted quickly to the school. Haley talked about her new friends "Sophia and the boy with the glasses."

Fast forward to this morning. The moment didn't last long and soon enough she was dressed and talking about how she is going to share her book today and that she didn't feel sick anymore. I don't know what it was. Is there something that scared her? Was she just tired? It was a moment when I wished we could afford to do part time preschool and part time Diane's house. It was a morning when I wished I could take her to school personally and be late for work.

Yes, she was great and excited when she left, but the moment was not fun.

Art Show

Come on out this Saturday to the festival in Saratoga. Joni (mom-in-law) will have a booth filled with her art from noon to 8pm. It's a nice outing for the family and you'll get to browse and buy this original artwork! Make sure to come and say hello!

First Day of School

She woke up and said "It's preschool day today!" Yes, Haley started preschool and I can't believe that at this time next year she will be in kinder. She was VERY ready to go. We took Ryan first so Diane could see Haley on her first day. On the way to school I kind of panicked and started reminding her of little things. She nodded her head and responded, "I know, Mama" to my comments such as "remember to get a tissue if you need to wipe your nose" and "remember to use your best manners." We got there and she told me and Josh that we could wave goodbye to her from outside the window...nice try, we are going in! We got in and Haley went straight for the kids after she was shown her little cubby for her things. As she began to play we were shown where to sign in and out, parent info, etc. As we said "ok..." Haley waved, gave each of us a hug and kiss (because we made her) and said "bye!" Off she went. I picked her up this afternoon. When I walked in she was getting her bow fixed by her teacher. I was the first parent to be there for pick up. She was happy to see me and especially her brother, but took her time to get some water and say goodbye to her new friends. She liked school. Her highlights: circle time when she got introduced by the teacher and got to say her birthday, getting to play outside on the structure 3 times, and lunch which was chicken and rice and veggies. She is looking forward to going back tomorrow. Did she have a melt down at bedtime from being tired? Ummm...you could say that.

Entering a new stage of life. Lovin' it.

Sweet Taste of Victory

There she is. Number 3. Haley has had 3 games so far and just won her first. She doesn't know that she has won or lost. Not sure if she has grasped the concept yet and it really hasn't been mentioned by anyone! Haley is really enjoying soccer. She is not at all aggressive and happens to kick the ball if it comes to her by accident. A few times she didn't even know it was there because she was too busy watching another game or looking at her family on the sideline. She does run around with the mob most of the time. Other times she may not (see below). She likes it and that's all that matters.

Our favorites moments so far: when someone on her team made a goal and we were all screaming and jumping up and down, Haley turned to all of us and waved with a huge smile on her face. Another favorite was when she was running down the field and stopped dead in her tracks and yelled, "Grandma! I have braids!" Needless to say we are fully entertained by the whole scene out there. Just picture 16 4-5 year olds going after a ball and when they get it only knowing what to do with it half the time. 
We have still been enjoying the nice weather and doing summer things for as long as we can. Ryan is keeping us busy with his crazy self. He is getting a bit tired of strollers and high chairs and he always wants "dow" (down). He is daring and fearless and it makes me scared. He did fall off one step and bonked his head so now he asks for help on only that step. He still has no problem heading right up the big staircase. 
We have been able to spend some fun time with Aaliyah and she is just so cute. Her whole face lights up when she smiles. A doll!

Aaahhh...the good life. We enjoyed our 3 day weekend. 

Tid Bits

The start of the school year always makes for some good stories as I begin to meet my students. Here is a small list of some "things":
- All students are to write a letter to me on the first day of school. One boy wrote a list of what he likes and dislikes. One dislike? Wearing clothes.
- There was a boy in my room last year who I found hard to connect with no matter how hard I tried. We talked footbal during the season, but come January Superbowl was over and there went our connection. He wouldn't so much as shake my hand. On the first day of school I looked up and he was running across the quad with a smile on his face. He walked right up to me and gave a huge hug. So confused!
- My little fashionista from last year was disappointed that I cut my hair and was not shy to tell me.
- I have a student that does NOTHING. seriously...nothing. Come to find out he has always done nothing. Maybe letter grades will shock him out of his work coma.
- locker day in 6th grade makes me want to take shots of tequila (or anything).
- I am reminded that I work with some pretty amazing educators and people. I pray that my own children are blessed with such wonderful teachers.

More later!

Back to School

We are back to the old routine here at the Russell household. This year is a bit different though. Haley will begin preschool and is playing soccer, which changes the old routine. Starting after Labor Day Josh will have two drop offs in the morning and I will have two in the afternoon. We have soccer practice during the week and a game every Saturday. This is different than our more flexible schedule before although we have always felt fairly busy. Haley is SO EXCITED to start school. Ryan is walking everywhere and wants to climb everything...very busy! Josh is more tired than usual as he is now waking up to get the kids ready an hour earlier than he woke up all summer. 

The school year is here and we are all adjusting to our non vacation lives.

You Know Summer is Over and the School Year Has Started When...

1. I am up at 5:45 with things racing through my mind.

2. The alarm needs to be set.

3. I am falling asleep on the couch before 10:00 instead of staying up until 11 or 12.

4. The kids' bedtime is back to 7:30 versus 8:00.

5. I come home to a clean house because none of us were home.

6. I am having anxiety dreams: one that I was assigned to 3rd grade (I now love middle school) and a student came to school with crystal meth on the first day, another that had nests of bugs in my hair.

7. I blow dry my hair.

8. The back of my car no longer has the park blanket and sand toys that we needed at a drop of a hat.

9. I am packing a lunch.

10. I am avoiding work that I need to do and typing this instead.

Indeed this was a fabulous summer. I have now had 5 summers as a parent and this one was BY FAR the best. I really loved it. I have now been back to work for a week and get so excited about a new school year and the potential of the kids, that it makes it somewhat easier to saying goodbye to the summer fun and head back into work. I am glad that I love my job. I am sad that this special summer is over, but only 180 work days until our next one! Cheers to year 11 in the classroom. May it be the best one yet!

Some Times Just Aren't So Fun

Today was a gray hair day. Nothing major happened. It was just one of those days. I sit and write with my hair in a hat because I couldn't find a way to get it done today. I have crusty graham cracker on my hoody and flung yogurt on my tank top. As parents we all have moments when we want to stop time and take a breath. Today was just a day with SEVERAL of those moments, making it a tough day. Ryan just wanted me and "up" all day. Once I got him up he wanted down. Once he got down he would cry. That was the glorious cycle today. I wanted to scream "Please learn more words so I know what the hell you want!!!" Ok, a bit harsh, but you know what I am talking about. Haley behaved well, but she is also demanding of time and attention as is every child by nature. I feel worn down and beat up. It was a day when all I saw were the messes that needed cleaning (which were just cleaned moments ago), the dishes needing washing (didn't I just do the dishes?), the clothes needing laundering (wearing dirty clothes isn't too bad, is it?). Thank you, Josh, for bathing the kids tonight and getting them ready for bed. I was not up for it. Today was rough. Tomorrow is a new day. 

Soccer Has Begun

11 boys and 2 girls on the team. She did great yesterday. On the way home she said she had so much fun but wasn't every good. We asked her more and she talked about how she wasn't done when the other kids were (she was talking about the little drills and dribbling). Of course we gave her the big talk of learning something new. We talked about when she first started music and dance and gymnastics and art and how she learned more and became better each time. She loved it none the less and wants there to be soccer today. The coaches are so sweet with the kids.

The Russells Take Tahoe by Storm

Tahoe was simply perfect. The four of us enjoyed almost 5 days of sun, swim, and adventure.  We played in the pool, went to the beach, rode the gondola, and explored. The trip was a hit with all of us. We still dream of buying a place there. Come on lotto!

Family Weekend

The Yuba City Family was here and we had a great time. Lots of food, drink and sand. Spent the day in Santa cruz and evenings in the Rasul backyard. Always such a good time.

Wharf to Wharf

For our anniversary this year we celebrated in a couple of ways. Saturday night we had a nice dinner and saw "500 Days of Summer." Both were fabulous. We made it an early night since we needed to leave the house by 6:15 for our first 10k. This is 6.2 miles from the boardwalk to Capitola Village. Mind you, neither one of us are runners. When I go on a run it is 2 miles tops with some other sort of exercise mixed in. We both had a goal of reaching the halfway mark before any walking occurred. We hit mile 2 and Josh had officially run the longest distance he had ever run straight. We decided to keep going. We hit mile 3, looked at each other and kept going. We hit mile 4, same thing. We did not stop until after we hit mile 5 where we walked for .3 of a mile and ran the rest of the race. We were both so proud! Bands played all along the way and people lined the streets. There were 15, 000 registered participants, plus people who just showed up to run. We joined neighbors and friends there too. It was great fun. A healthy way to celebrate 7 years of marriage!

Steps

Ryan took 4 steps yesterday more than once. He is 13 months and some kids his age or even younger are flying passed him, but he is surely on his way. He was very pleased with himself or with our excited reactions. Either way, he did it and it was thrilling for all of us. Haley was saying "Mommy! Have him walk again! Have him walk to me!"

In other Ryan news, he is fast and efficient at climbing the entire staircase. We now have gates.

He is saying more words and adding to his vocabulary. This morning was the first time he saw me and said "Mama." ABOUT TIME! Sorry Josh, unlike Haley, "Dada" didn't come first this time. He has added: up, no, cheese, more, poop, some.

Every day we are experiencing the similarities and differences between our 2 nuggets. There are just so many. It is fascinating to observe.

Coming up, Josh and I are running in the 10k Wharf to Wharf tomorrow for our anniversary. Nice dinner tonight, leaving at 6am tomorrow. Then we have family here for a beach weekend, then off to Tahoe for our first official Russell Four vacation. We have been places just the four of us, but it's always for a wedding or occasion. We are looking forward to the time together.

That's all for now!

Big Boy

My Loves

Motherhood

I am doing this entry after watching an episode of "Oprah." I can see Josh rolling his eyes because he has been victim to many "Oprah" discussions. Whenever I start the sentence with "So I was watching 'Oprah' today..." he knows I will be asking clarifying questions about big issues. Today was no exception. I watched a recorded episode while the kids had rest/nap. It was all about the truths of motherhood. It was so honest and raw that it felt refreshing. There are these two friends who basically interviewed thousands of moms to write their 1st book. The title is something like I Knew Everything About Being a Mom Until I Became One- so true! The audience was filled with moms and several moms were on the show. Here are some things that really struck a cord with me.

1. Cheryl Hines spoke about reinventing yourself when you become a mom. She talked about how when she got pregnant she was ready. She was done with the bar scene and going out to parties all the time. She didn't mind losing that part of her. She didn't expect to not be there for her best friend when she was going through a bad break up. She wasn't able to stay on the phone and if she went to her house to comfort her, her baby distracted her from giving all of her attention to her friend in need. She says that we need to sort of mourn the loss of our old selves and reinvent ourselves with the inclusion of being a mom.

2. BE HONEST WITH OURSELVES. This kept hitting me. I know I am honest with myself, but will tend to put on a happy face even in moments when I want to talk about how I REALLY feel. There are still things that just still are not acceptable to say or feel. On the show they said even in a group of moms, everyone puts on a happy face which is such a disservice, creating a sense that you are alone in what you are feeling when we could all be real and supporting each other in hard times. It all comes down to judgment. I am guilty of it. I have been shocked at what some mothers have done or said out loud. These are usually moms who I tend to disagree with in the first place so I am sure that plays a part, but who cares? Who am I to judge anyone? If everyone was more accepting of our different approaches to raising a child then maybe more women would feel more comfortable to reach out and ask for help. At the same time I need to not care about being judged as a mom. I know that we are doing the best we know how. There are situations where I feel I need to explain or defend the kids' actions or behaviors..."I don't know what's wrong. She usually doesn't act like that..." etc. It's the truth when I say those things, but who cares? They are kids and if they are not "being themselves" when around certain company, then that's the way it goes.

3. Stay at Home Moms and Working Moms were touched upon. I am a working mom and at times have felt badly for liking it that way. I always say it would be ideal to work part time and I truly believe that for myself. Being a stay at home mom takes the patience of a saint. I think I am a better mom than I would be if I were at home. I know this about me. I am hard on myself and have thought badly about getting frustrated with situations when moms who stay home do it all the time! 

4. This was a big one too...loving motherhood as much as you love your kids. They talked about whenever there is something that is bothering you or having certain frustrations can often come out as a lack of passion for your children. Anyone who is a parent knows there is no love like the love you have for your children. There are seriously no words that can describe it. The best I can say is that a new heart grew with each baby I had. The love is overwhelming. At the same time there are moments when I just don't LOVE motherhood. Not just when they are sick or having a rough night, but also times when I want for just myself or for my marriage. I get an hour a day that I savor. And, without family all around us who snatch up the kids on a regular basis, I have no idea what I would do to keep sane. I like that they distinguished the difference of the love for your children from the love of motherhood. They are different things.

I always had an idea of what motherhood would be like. I wasn't even close. It is such a roller coaster of every extreme emotion and feeling. I do love being a mom. I promise to be more honest and not feel afraid of being judged as I have in the past. It is a hard and rewarding job and I feel blessed to have it.

Thanks for the episode Oprah!

Karate Kid

We are always telling stories in the car. To keep ourselves sane we are always trying to think of new ones. Tonight Josh told Haley the story of the Karate Kid. I was very entertained as Haley did "wax on, wax off" and "paint the fence" in the car. When we got home he taught her the crane kick. I am anticipating some martial arts in the house.

Say What?!

Yesterday I was at Target and in their seasonal section they have all Back to School stuff. Then I just checked my email and there was a Back to School savings from Costco. This is my 3rd of 9 weeks off. WHY?!

Camping

We just enjoyed a 4 day camping trip with the Nissen Family. I grew up camping at Pinecrest and have SO MANY fond memories. We got there and I got misty eyed as really not much has changed since I was in my early teens. We had a fun time looking for bugs, playing in the lake, cooking food on the fire and hanging out. Haley and Ryan loved being put to bed at the same time in our tent. They easily played for an hour each night before they conked out. On our 2nd day we hiked around the entire lake. It is a 4 mile hike and Haley did more than half of it. Lots of climbing rocks, which she loved. Ryan was on Josh's back and slept almost the entire 3 hours. Both of them loved the lake. Haley and I rafted all the way out to the perimeter. Ryan didn't want to get out. I love the outdoors and it is obvious that the kids do too. It was fab.

See Ryan's little leg from behind Josh?