Taylor Swift

Last month Grammy treated me and Haley to the Taylor Swift concert. It was outstanding for several reasons.

Reason #1- It was a night with my mom and my daughter. This is a rare occasion and I continue to soak in these special life moments. Grandmother, mother, daughter. I am so blessed to enjoy time in this way- with the woman who gave me life- my hero,  and the young lady we gave life to- one of my angels on earth.

Reason #2- It was Taylor Swift! We love her music and she puts on an amazing show! Costume changes, high energy, accoustic beauty. She had it all!

Reason #3- This show was all about GIRL POWER! Taylor would talk between songs about strength and self worth and beauty. I heard every word and love that my daughter and my mom were hearing the same words with me. The timing in life, for these words to be heard by all of us, was divine.Haley and I refer to those messages often.

Thank you, Grammy. It was a night to remember.

2nd and 5th Grades

Haley's last year at Capri!
2nd and 5th grades- they have arrived!!! They're already having a great start to the year. Check out Haley's gold kicks. She hasn't taken them off.

Strong. Beautiful. Unstoppable. Healthy. Better. Confident.Happy. Fit.

I am working and it's working.

I am strong and unstoppable! 

Today I focus on my divine power of strength. Knowing I am strong, I pursue my goals with confidence, determination, and perseverance. Any temporary set backs only serve to increase my resolve. Just as steel becomes stronger after it is heated to a high temperature, my ability to draw on my inner strength grows as I steadfastly overcome obstacles.

If I encounter what looks like a roadblock, I call upon my divine faculty of strength. I turn within and feel the mighty power of God. I affirm: I am strong and unstoppable! Passion wells up within me as I envision my dreams. With renewed strength and faith, I see my goals through completion.

Lessons

I am learning so many lessons right now. These are huge lessons that are making me a stronger woman and better mom, friend, family member, teacher, and person.

You never know what to get someone when something like this happens to them. There is no "Your Life Just Came Crumbling Down" section on Amazon Prime. One friend sent me a Nutri Bullet with a note that just said, "take care of yourself". One friend sent me a spiritual healing bracelet.
Another friend sent me a subscription to "The Daily Word", a daily affirmation. These affirmations help me set my purpose for the day. Some hit home more than others. This is one of them.

The ones I share here are the ones I want my kids to read when they see this blog.

I am grateful for the lessons in my life.

As children head back to school, I reflect on how much I am still learning. I look for lessons in my actions, reactions, and feelings. I turn within on challenging days. I listen to my inner wisdom and learn how I may handle a situation better next time. I give thanks for everything I learn- from finding a shortcut saving me time to discerning when to make my next big move.

Every encounter is a chance to learn. I see with eyes of curiosity, wondering what insight I may gain from each interaction. I release judgment and replace it with acceptance and gratitude. When I find patterns I want to change or reinforce, I open myself to Spirit's guidance. God shows me the next right action. Lifelong learning leaves me fulfilled and at peace.

YES

My therapist, along with 2 other people, have challenged me with something. They have challenged me to just start saying yes to things. Before all of this, saying yes was easy for me. I liked the idea of new experiences and new adventures.

It turns out, I only liked it because it really didn't change anything of value in my life. I don't like change. Big or small. I never really have- unless it was foreseeable change (getting married, buying a new house, the birth of our children, a new job).

This unexpected HUGE life change has me kind of crawling and shriveling in. This is not me and never has been. Turns out I only like change that I have decided upon. Imagine that!

So, I am going to try and start saying yes. Who knows what new life adventures it could bring? I started today by RSVPing to my high school reunion next month. There was no part of me that wanted to go and have to face where I am in my life. But, it's out of my comfort zone and I said yes.

Baby steps...

Better

I was flattened, numb, crushed. I am better by baby steps.

One way that I am better is in my classroom. The last 3 months of the school year last year were a fog. I was a zombie going through the motions. My students didn't deserve that and I hate that it happened for them. I know they didn't notice, but I sure did. I have always prided myself in my work in education.

Because of all of this I am a better teacher. Last night was Back to School Night. A mom came up to me after all others were gone to tell me that she and her husband separated this summer and that she is concerned for her child. 6th grade is a big transition and so much was changing for her son. He was having a hard time with the split.

This story has been told to me for many many years by parents. I have always been appreciative of them filling me in and have always kept the information in my mind while holding compassion for the situation.

This time was different. My heart fell for her and her son. I FELT her pain and worry and concern. I looked her square in the eyes and told her,
" I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. My heart aches for every single one of you. I will do anything for you and your son to make this transition a safe and smooth one. I promise to tell you anything I see that I'd want to know as a parent. Your son is safe here and I am so glad he is in my class this year. My door is always open for you and him for anything you need."

Her eyes filled with tears and she gave me a huge hug. I hugged her back and let her be the one to decide when to let go.

I will be a better teacher from this point on.

And better is better.

Choosing Light

I was reading something lately and it really struck a cord.

The quote was "I choose to light a candle instead of cursing the darkness."

Every day I "light a candle" and when the kids are older and I introduce this blog to them and invite them to read it from the beginning, I want them to know that during this painful and dark time, we lit candles every day.

It's not hard to find light when you are surrounded by it. The few times and days that feel like the candle can't hold it's strength against the dark, I realize those are the days that I only need to see what's right in front of me- all that the candle can illuminate.

Most moments and days I light my candle and that light shows how many loved ones are lighting one for us too.

I want the kids to know that even though the world, as we knew it, fell out from under us, we are surrounded by love and light. We are blessed by family and friends who would and do drop everything for us. What a gift from beyond.

I want the kids to know that when life gets dark, there is always light. ALWAYS. And in our blessed life, it is very easy to find because it surrounds and envelopes us. This family is so loved.

I want the kids to know that when you choose light there is no way to stay in the darkness. This does not mean push your low feelings aside or dismiss what is really happening. It's important to feel the feelings. I just mean that behind the clouds there is the sun. It shines all the time, even when we can't see it,.it never goes away. It's waiting to shine bright and make the coldness warm. Even the night has stars and the moon shining brightly.

Such is life. When we take comfort in knowing that there is always light, we can get through the hard times that feel unbearable.

I promise to always find the light for myself and for the kids.

 "I choose to light a candle instead of cursing the darkness"  OK- I may need to drop a few F Bombs at the darkness before I strike that match.