When we arrived in Santa Cruz we drove up and saw that a person was just getting into his car. Parking is not easy at this beach and the fact that we found a spot right up front and wouldn't need to drive around the neighborhood and park blocks away, made me happy.
Do you see where this is going?
I waited, with my blinker on, for approx 3 minutes while the man packed it all up and reversed out of his spot. Just then I saw a car pull forward that just came down the street. Her friend was waving her into the spot. I honked my horn, the friend looked at me, and continued to wave her in. I honked again as the woman pulled into the spot.
As an adult, I am not afraid of confrontation. I don't prefer it, but I don't fear it. As a kid, I avoided it like the plague.
The woman acted as though she was on the phone when she started unloading her car. I honked the horn again and rolled down my window.
Me: Hi. I've been waiting for that spot for 3 minutes.
Her: I'm sorry? I can't hear you.
Yes, because I am a very quiet woman.
Me (louder): I've been waiting for that spot with my blinker on, for 3 minutes.
Her: I'm sorry, I didn't see you.
Me: Ok...well, I was waiting.
Her: I'm sorry. I didn't see you.
Me:........
Her: Do you expect me to move?
Me: I think you should do what you think is right.
Her...kept unloading her car.
Now, this was really not about a parking spot. It's the fact that it was unjust. I understand she didn't see me, even though her friend did. I gave her the opportunity to make it right. I know that if it was reversed, I would move out of the spot. In fact, I have done that before.
I found parking elsewhere. Then Haley asked why I yelled at that woman. I told her the only reason I raised my voice was because she said she couldn't hear me. I told her that the woman made a mistake.
We got down to the beach and our group was close to hers. She avoided me completely. I didn't like that the day started that way. The kids were playing and having fun. I decided that I was going to say something to the woman and I wanted the kids with me.
I walked over to her and she was visibly uncomfortable.
Me: I just wanted to come over and say that I'm sorry we started our day that way.
Her (visibly relieved that she was not about to take a lashing, exhaled and put her hand to her heart): I'm sorry too. I really am. I didn't see you and I know how frustrating that is when you have two kids in the car.
Now, a younger me would have retaliated with "but your friend saw me and I told you I was waiting and you STILL didn't move."
Me: Thank you for your apology. I appreciate it.
Her: Enjoy the day at the beach.
Me: Yes, it's beautiful, you enjoy it too.
I did the right thing. I was not sorry that I honked my horn and said something to her. I was not sorry about the words I chose. I was not sorry that I approached her later and I was not sorry that my kids saw every part of the interaction and that I interrupted their play time to come with me to talk with her.
I was sorry that the day started like that, so my words to her were sincere. I am sure she was surprised I approached her afterwards and said what I did.
We had a gorgeous day at the beach.
I am proud I was much calmer than the bathroom line on New Year's Eve 1999- a classic tale of the injustice of cutting in line. :)
2 comments:
Haley should have handled it since she knows karate. We are very proud of how you dealt with this.
Mom and Dad
Very well done.
However, I think "the queue" incident was also well-done:)
Post a Comment