A Letter to My Family-2024

 2024- Another year in the books.

To My Two Loves,

Being your mom, and what it means, changes every year. You change. Life changes. It's how it works! What does not change is my pride in you, nor my support of you, nor my love for you. 

Ryan,

This is year 2 of being the only child at home. I know you just LOVE all the attention. Haha! As you navigate your high school years in true teenage fashion, you seem to be able to stay calm and collected. As you become more of a man and less of a child, I find myself in a bit of a panic. I remember this exact feeling with Haley at this same age. Am I doing a good enough job for you?  Am I teaching you what I believe are important lessons? Are you learning lessons when they naturally come your way? Are you feeling the feelings when things happen? You seem so level headed and sure. I believe you are. I also want to remind you that if you're not (and you may not even be aware if you're not), that I'm here. You're so independent! Getting that driver's license has given you the gift of a new level of freedom. My new favorite words to hear from you are, "Mom, can everyone hang here tonight?". I am trying so hard not to have mom worry and to let you experience this phase of life as freely as possible- with rules and curfews of course! You test some waters, as kids your age do, and you have remained respectful throughout. I am grateful you are the young man you are while you figure things out. I love your dreamer's spirit. I enjoy your sense of humor. I admire what a socially aware and confident person you are. My heart is so happy with you around. Being your mom fills my soul. YEEEOOO!!

Haley,

Oh hey, girl! This has been the biggest year of growth of your entire life. You're living in another state for Pete's sake! As I looked through pictures to include on this post, I struggled to find any solo shots. You really are doing it. You are thriving and you deserve all of the great things that you have. You are managing school. You are learning about living on your own and navigating how it works with roommates. You and your roomies have taken on a "hosting" spirit by planning fun events and inviting others. You have this incredible energy about you. Your beauty is emanating. I know this doesn't mean everything is perfect. I know there are challenges for you. You are mature and self aware and continue to learn valuable life lessons about friendship and family and conflict. You're doing it with grace! When I get a text from you my spirit lights up. When I get updates on the phone, my heart is full. My heart is so happy when you're home. Being your mom fills my soul. 

This has been another year of health and growth and adventure for all of us. I have faced a few new challenges this year. This phase of motherhood, the one where your kids are independent in so many ways, is an interesting one to accept. My role has morphed and parenting small children is so different than parenting young adults. Do I have the right words to say? Am I being the support they need? What do they even need from me anymore? I remember driving Ryan to school on the morning of his driving test. I was aware enough to think to myself, "this could be the last day I drive my child to school." It was! And that's just different. Another chapter closed. 

I am also feeling it at work.  I am  not old enough for retirement, but feel ready for a change, but am not ready to leave my school. What does that mean?! Who knows? But like everything else, I'll know when it presents itself. We shall see! 

What's up with the random aches and pains and ailments? Being 47 is a real treat in that way.

In the meantime my life feels fulfilled in the ways that matter to me most. This new phase includes more time for me to decide how I want to spend it. Perhaps more self care is in order? The love I share with Dave is one we cherish and nurture. Things continue to go in the right direction at the right pace. It's a real deal and we've got a great thing going.  I'm surrounded by a strong loving family. I have a fiercely fun and loyal friend group. I am one blessed gal!

A Letter to My Family- 2023

 It's that time!

My Dearest Knuckleheads,

This is the proudest I've ever felt as a mom and that is saying something! As you get older I am seeing you find your voice in the world. I am seeing how you are sometimes gradually, and other times rapidly, gaining your independence. This year I have reflected on how my role as your mom has evolved through the years. We are at a point where my role is shifting again from teaching or guiding you through life's obstacles to supporting you along the way. You are thinking for yourselves and honoring who you are. I stand back and beam. Being your mom is the biggest part of my life. You are my heart.

Dear Ryan,

What an incredible young man you are! Each and every year you are growing into a man with even more integrity, work ethic, and chaRIZZma. You are a social butterfly and keep everyone laughing. It's been awesome witnessing you become more disciplined in your life- both with school and your physical health/strength. It goes to show, yet again, that anything you set your mind to, you succeed at. I cherish our daily routine of waking up and bantering and teasing, picking you up from school and bantering and teasing, daily chores and homework and dinner while bantering and teasing, and taking you to and picking you up from the gym while bantering and teasing. What I cherish even more are the real moments of connection we have when you share your thoughts or feelings on life's events. I am honored to be your mom.

Dear Haley,

For the life of me, I couldn't format your pictures side by side. Annoying! haha. 18 year old, high school graduate, college student- what a year for you! You earned your way to Boise State and here you are, living the college life, finding your way in a whole new way. Through you I experience things as a mom for the first time. I have never had a child move out of the state. My heart has never experienced so much happiness for you as you choose your path. You are missed all the time and our time together is just that much sweeter. I cherish sending TikToks back and forth and our ridiculous obsession with women who are queens. I'm so proud that you are putting yourself out there in new ways that I know are out of your comfort zone- and you're killing it! You know that your life is yours to live and you are really living it! The best is yet to come. I am honored to be your mom.

Another great year in the books. With each passing year, I grow wiser with how life works. The challenges don't end, but I keep doing the personal work so when a tough time arises I have more skills to take it on, process it, accept it for what it is, put it where it belongs, and move forward. There was loss and heartache this year and I try to keep it in perspective. Everyone is healthy. My kids are growing and thriving. My friendships are solid and beautiful. I'm in love with a wonderful man who adds such light to my life. 2023 was a solid year with many milestones. Life feels good. Bring it on, 2024!

She's 18

 She's 18 years old. She is a strong, beautiful woman. She lights up every life she touches. She is love.

A Letter to My Family- 2022

 Time for the annual letter. Every year when I sit down to write this, I have so much to say and hope my words capture my heart. 

To Both of You Knuckleheads,

What a year we've had. You two light up my world in all the ways. My favorite time spent is with you, whether we are out on an adventure or just hanging out at home. You continue to make me proud of the people you are and are growing up to be. I'm your biggest cheerleader. Always.

My Dear Ryan,

High school! You're just finishing your first semester of your freshman year. You continue to grow and mature into a stellar young man. You are a typical teen in the sense that you hang mostly in your room, hang out with friends, do all the fun things at school, and prefer junk food over a balanced meal. You are atypical in your sensitivity and awareness in the world. You are naturally helpful and kind and well mannered. Your ability to make up words and names so naturally, cracks me up! Your creative mind still blows me away and I know that it will take you anywhere you want to go. I try so hard to honor your privacy and life as a teenager while still wanting to know about your life and wanting you to know that I'm here for anything you want or need. My highlight with you this year was the Imagine Dragons concert. It was just the two of us, laughing, singing, dancing, people watching, and soaking it all in. I admire your integrity as a human being. I enjoy your outstanding sense of humor. I adore our relationship. You fill my soul and I am so proud to be your mom. I love you.

                              

My Dear Haley,

I truly and fully cannot wrap my head around the fact that this is your senior year. The whole college application process, along with a few acceptances so far, have made all of it very real. You are a typical teen in that you love drama shows on TV, you have your crushes both celebrity and real life, and you have a fun friend group. You are atypical in that you are wise beyond your years and you hang out with me at home! haha. You are funny and sarcastic (which is also funny). You are responsible and self aware. Your hard work through the years has brought you to this place, where you will have options for next year. I have always tried to be there for you when and how you need. I admire your strong sense of self. My highlight with you this year has been our couch time- bonding, laughing, and crying over the shows or movies we have watched. Just being in the same space in that way brought me so much joy.  I adore our relationship. You fill my soul and I am so proud to be your mom. I love you.

                                

My Turn!

I think this first picture captures how I felt this year- the highest level of calm and peace in my soul. My heart is contented. My life feels solid. My kids are healthy and well. All of my relationships feel good. I have the best friends a gal could dream of. I have taken on new challenges at work that fuel my passion. I feel like I am living aligned with myself  and my values. The biggest highlight of the year was connecting with someone who has added pure joy to my life. I had been happy for quite some time before we met. Very happy, in fact. I am very picky about who I invite in, because when you live a happy life, why would you accept anything or anyone that brought it down even one degree? Well, with Dave the happiness has grown exponentially. He's funny, intelligent, thoughtful, easy going, and honest. It's been almost a year and I am enjoying every second of it. I'm proud of myself for opening my heart to someone who doesn't make it feel scary to do so. I cherish our connection.

                                 

Cheers to 2022. It was a year I won't forget. This blog has become birthdays and annual letters. I INTEND to be better. I really do!

He's 14, and this post is ridiculously late

 

Ok, It's September and I am finally posting Ryan's 14th birthday post. Just looking through photos to post made my heart swell. He is my baby even though he towers over me and can beat me in arm wrestling after so many years of sweet victory for me.

Ryan has grown into a young man that I truly adore. He is calm and kind. He continues to be social and funny. Look at his little face evolve into a young man!

My life would not be the same without his soul in it. He can be stubborn, but he always processes and circles back.

I know I say this every year, but he is the funniest dude, and it's because he doesn't really mean to be!

I love that he was born to us. Happy birthday, my beautiful Ryan!