9

He's 9. My baby is 9.

                            

Captain Underpants with the kiddos!

Nine years ago I was holding this tiny (not so tiny) newborn. We didn't know if whether we'd have a boy or girl. Ryan, you are sweet and sensitive and fun and funny. On this day and every day I sit in awe that you are mine. You are so so loved!

Universal Studios/ Palm Springs 2017

In February we had our annual trip to Palm Springs. We went a few days early and I surprised the kids with a trip to Universal. It was awesome. They came Friday morning ready for school and I said, "you're not going to school today!" Their faces were priceless.

                           

The drive was the worst weather I'd ever driven in. Torrential downpour and accidents all along the way. At one point I looked in the rear view mirror and saw a car spin out and hit the median. We were SO HAPPY to arrive. My aunt texted to see how we were because she heard there was a huge sink hole near the park. Yikes!

                                     

The park was fairly empty. We enjoyed all of it, including the new Harry Potter World. We had a full day in the park and then the kids and I went back after dinner until closing. SO COOL!

                                          




                                          

                                           


                             


                                           

                                           

                                          

                                          

                            

Cousins!

                          
So awesome that family came. This is family we just connected with in the last couple of years. my dad has half sisters and they have kids and grand kids and it makes for much fun with new found family.

                                                      
Here they are on the little slide, but this was the first year Ryan conquered the big slide. His goal was to go on it 100 times by the time we left. He made it to 78.

Another first without my dad. His physical presence is so missed. The trip was beautiful and wonderful and full of all the feels.

Zumba is a Metaphor for Life

I had a really shitty day last week. The kind of day that you wake up crying for no reason and every reason all at once.
So, I decided to do something new for myself that day. I decided to go to a Zumba class.

The class started with me in a minor altercation with a woman who walked in and claimed I was in her spot (Excuse me. I have a ton of patience for middle schoolers and none for adults that act like middle schoolers),  and ended with me energized and smiling.

So, how is Zumba like life, you ask? I'll tell you.
 It started with the woman I mentioned above. You see, for many years I was naive and innocent. I knew bad things happened, even though they hadn't happened to me, but I never accepted that there are simply so many different types of people in the world and some simply aren't kind. This woman was unkind. When adults act this way, it boggles me, but unkind people walk this earth and it's a fact.

How else is Zumba a metaphor for life? Once the music started and pumped through that room, my annoyance with what had just happened was shifted to curiosity about what was about to happen. The unkind woman didn't put a damper on what I was there to experience. She could have. I could have taken it as, "oh, forget this!" and gotten out of there. But I didn't give her that power. The incident happened and in an instant my mood changed.

As is with life. Events happen, good and bad, and we can't let those events affect the beauty of what life has in store for us. They can't take away our energy or enthusiasm. We need to choose to shift the minute the music starts to play. If we don't, we miss out on what is being offered to us in that moment.

But, wait, there's more! The music started and the instructor went to the front of the room and then an amazing thing happened. Everyone started to move. Together. In the same direction. Without the instructor saying a word. Everyone knew what to do and she didn't say much the entire class! It was obvious that every song had its own routine and that these people have been doing it for awhile. And, even though I was new, I hung right in there.

Often in life, we find ourselves lost. And some of those times we don't have people around us to show us the way. We have to figure it out. No instructor yelling out what's coming next. It can feel helpless and aimless, but I enjoyed that class. I kept moving. I kept watching and trying and smiling and breathing. I was lost but I felt good. I stayed in the moment. At times I was facing front while they were facing back. Other times I was going left while they went right. In my recent years I have found my life so derailed from the direction I thought it was going in. Many times I felt alone in that no one around me was going in my new path at that exact time. And that is ok. It's all part of it, even when it is chaotic and out of control.

I stayed. I didn't give up and in the end was determined to keep going to classes until I learn those damn routines.

I strive to approach all of life's challenges with the Zumba approach. Soak it in. Let it be messy and know that it will all be figured out and will leave me energized and smiling.

If only all of life's tough moments had loud music and dance involved.

Thanks for the life reminder, Zumba. Keep being real.

(photo credit: Google Images)

12

Haley Rose Russell! I know that every year I cannot believe you are a year older. You brought us into the wonderful world of parenthood, and grandparenthood, and auntie and unclehood.  You made me a mom, my favorite role in life. You are cherished by so many. Look at these photos! I love looking through them each year to do the birthday posts.

Look at that chubby face!

A little apprehensive about Woody.




That hair!


Helping Tata blow out his candles.



Amazing smile!









You love the water and come by that naturally.




Your oldest and best friends.


Haley, I marvel in the young woman you are and continually become. You are coming into your own. I am beyond proud to be your mom and witness your beauty. I got you, girl! Thanks for making me a mom and adding a heart to my soul.















Sassy and 12 and on your way!

Bear/ Dragon/ Warrior- Call it What You Will

Whatever lives inside every mother that flushes your whole being when you see injustice for you kid, it's a beast. It's hot and alive and real. And that beast was tapped last night.

We were at a lovely get together with a bunch of families we didn't know.  Kids were everywhere, running around and having fun. I kept an eye on my two as I knew they didn't know anyone else there and all the kids knew each other from school.

This situation is never 100% comfortable. Even as an adult, I sometimes am challenged with how to include myself in a conversation already happening among people I don't know, etc. Very few times did I feel that twinge of discomfort, but they happened.

A couple of times Haley didn't know where to place herself, so she would come get food or chat with me for a bit. Then she wold see her opportunity to get back in the mix and take it. Kids were in and out and all about. They moved in masses:)

Then it was time for dinner. Our gracious host had set up large tables out in the courtyard. It was so lovely and she outdid herself. Ryan sat at a table with no one else and then Haley sat down next to him. I encouraged them both to sit at the other table that had kids there. Ryan said "no", Haley said "ok".

She grabbed her plate.
She walked over to the table where there was one seat left.
She sat down.
Right when her rear touched the chair, the other 6-7 kids got up and moved to another table.

THIS.WAS.REAL. I had never seen anything like this in real life. Ever. Never. It was like a scene from a movie or a tween Disney show that exaggerates every action to make a point. This truly happened and I looked at Haley and I saw a twinge of her surprise and then her trying to be cool about it. Because she had never seen this before. Ever. Never.

And there it was. The beast. The bear. The dragon. The warrior.  It's this crazy feeling that is all encompassing when I see injustice, especially with my kids. I wanted to march over there and toss the table and point out to every single kid what they had just done and ask how they would feel if it was done to them. I wanted to hug my daughter and apologize for what had happened.

And, of course, I did none of those things. Because they are kids. All of them. They were following a leader's lead. They wanted a different person to fill that extra seat, so they moved to the other table when that person came to sit, right when Haley did. It wasn't about being thoughtless toward Haley. It was about wanting to sit by a certain someone. They didn't mean to hurt anyone and that's exactly why it was important for me and the kids to talk about later. We always need to be aware in social situations.

Other kids came to sit at the table with Haley. Another boy sat with Ryan at the 3rd table. The mom approached me and complimented Ryan for inviting her son to sit with  him. She said she watched all of it and was mortified, but that there is a certain dynamic with a few kids at the school that comes through at these events. She praised Ryan again and her older son included Haley when playing. And, as quickly as it had happened, they were off playing again. The mom and I talked some more and I could tell she was tired of this story that seems to repeat itself when the kids are all together. She said if she had one more glass of wine, she would've lost it. She definitively made me feel validated and I didn't even need to say anything at all!

On our drive home, the kids talked all about the "one" girl who wasn't very nice but everyone followed. It was the person everyone got up to sit by. She was mean to the younger kids. On and on and on. We took the opportunity to talk about our own values. And what we would do if we experienced that again, or saw someone left out, or (insert injustice here). We spoke again of our family motto, Russells have integrity..

The kids both talked about how they had fun, that this dynamic didn't ruin their time. And I fully believe them. They talked about all sorts of funny things and fun moments. I KNOW it was bigger for me than them.

Just wait until they have kids and feel their bear, dragon, warrior. 

It is a fierce ass beast.