Palm Springs Part 2

We just got back from our 2nd trip to Palm Springs with my family. Last year my parents took us for the first time and we went back for more this year. There is nothing like family time. The cousins played together, the adults played together, and the adults played with the kids. We swam, golfed, swam, went to a fair, swam, and swam.
Highlights:
- golfing with my dad, Jake, and Josh
- Haley staying up and playing cards with us
- having 4 dinners together as a big family

It was a special time with our awesome family.

It ended with a surprise trip to Disneyland for the kids. They thought we were driving all the way home. We pulled up to our hotel and Haley saw the sign for Disneyland. She had her earphones on and yelled, "Mom! We're close to Disneyland! Are we in LA?"
We then told the kids we were going to Disneyland. Haley's jaw dropped and she sat many seconds in shock. Ryan kept repeating, "for real? for real? for real?"

It was priceless.
Nothing better than making memories with family.

A Fantasssssstic Party

The kids get to pick what they do for their birthdays (within reason of course). This year Haley was thinking about ice skating or going to the beach. And then she got an idea and stuck with it. She wanted a snake party. We have been to events where there are live animals to interact with. That's what she wanted.

We had Brian from For Goodness Snakes (little plug there) come to the house. For an hour he showed his reptiles, included the kids, and educated them on the lives of reptiles. The last 20-30 minutes were spent with all of us interacting with the snakes. It was fun to watch as some children were comfortable right away while others' hesitation transformed to enjoyment.

Very cool!

9

Last weekend Haley turned 9. We have been on vacation so I didn't get to post right away. I went to write this post today and it took several sessions as I found myself looking through all of the old photos of her. This happens every year with the kids' birthday posts. I get lost in scrolling through the pictures and letting the memories flood in. It's a beautiful way to spend time.

Haley- you are 9. You are beautiful and soulful and sensitive and smart. I love that you sleep with your head at the foot of the bed. I love that you are a hard working student. I love that you choose nice/kind girls as friends. I love how much you love to read and how once you start a series, you get sucked right in. I love your sense of humor. I love that you love to try new things.You are growing up and I am trying so hard to honor where you are in life and not slow you down or speed you up. I see you changing every day and it is a glorious sight to see.

Your 9 years on earth have been pure sunshine. Happy birthday.

Friends

One, of many, beautiful things about getting older is that I really only surround myself with real friends. There is nothing like real friendship. There is a love and comfort that is fulfilling. We all meet people in different phases. I have my friends from high school, my friends from when I started teaching, my "mom" friends that I have met through my children, and my friends I have made by moving to middle school 7 years ago.

Every deep friendship starts at the beginning. You meet someone, you realize you have something in common, you talk, you connect, you laugh (a must in a friend), and you drink together for the first time (in which instance I almost ALWAYS wonder if I said something to turn that person off).At this point you are either growing closer or not. And then usually a defining moment happens when we see each other for who we truly are- either by a reaction, or a life event, or a hard or honest conversation. This is the point when I have shown the person all aspects of me. This is extremely liberating because we all have choice to invest or not. Each person who is still around adds distinct richness to my life.

All of my friends have seen me at my best and seen me at my worst. I know I can talk to my friends about anything and not worry about being judged. I invite honesty from them, even if it's not easy. I value that connection immensely.

Like everything else, the biggest challenge with friends is finding balance. I want people to know how important they are in my life. I do not take the gift of close friendship for granted. It seems like every time I get together with someone, the words, "it's been forever" are spoken. It's where we are and that's ok.

Last year we had a party and one of the guys there pulled me aside and said, "You have the greatest friends. Everyone I have talked to has been so enjoyable. You have been so wise in who you have invited into your lives. You are so rich in life."

I think that sums it up. I feel very blessed and rich in life.

Nothing is More Humbling

...than being a parent.

I was going to let that be my entire entry because, really, it's true.

Being a parent is a serious role. Although we seldom have a sense of seriousness in our household, Josh and I take raising our children very seriously. And to be honest, we have no idea what we're doing.

The words, "nothing prepares you for parenting," do not just refer to being a parent in general, but even more, to all those moments you need to "parent" right then and there. These are the moments you don't see coming. These include:

- your child running in screaming with a seriously bloody finger, skin flapping
- your child not taking responsibility
- your child asking questions about how the world works (especially when it is about something that is a        mature subject)
- your child misbehaving at school
- your child having hurt feelings and needing to advise them when all you want to do is kill whoever hurt him/her
- your child's changing body and needing to be sensitive to hygiene.

The only thing we can go on are our morals and values. I am incredibly thankful that Josh and I share the same idea of what is important/essential. It is hard when you are trying to instill these same virtues in your children and they do something that does not support what you have taught.These times can appear in little moments or bigger ones. We strive to have our reactions match the importance of the value. Sometimes we feel defeated. More times we feel triumphant. We do see every instance as a teachable moment and hope we all grow from it.

In each of these times (and so many more) we are hoping we are saying the right thing, or have the impact we need to have, so that our children learn lessons and apply them to life. We want them to continue to be good people who have empathy, sensitivity, and kindness in their hearts.We are hoping that we are not doing or saying anything that has a negative impact on how our children see themselves or the world around them.

We know we are making mistakes. We know we will make more.

We also know that our kids know we love them. I hope that trumps all else.

 It would be great if we had a 30 minute heads up before each moment happens so that we can have a plan of action. Until then, we will keep relying on our instincts and hope we're not doing much permanent damage.

I do feel proud that, although we do have to take a step back every now and then, we are all moving forward toward betterness.
I know that's not a word, but I like it.

From the Mouths of Babes

I need to be better about getting the little stories down on the blog so the kids can read them when they're older.
Last night:

Haley: Ryan, do you believe in Santa?
Ryan: Of course I do. I sit on his lap every year.
Haley: ok, good
Ryan: Did you know that some people don't believe in Santa? Those are the same people who think 100 is the highest number so....(shrugs and gestures a " what do they know?" gesture).

A few weeks ago after I stubbed my toe and yelled out...

Haley: Mom, do parents cry when they get hurt?
Me: um, sometimes.
Ryan: do parents cry when they lose their friends in hot lava?
Me: yes, every time.

Hormones Suck

Warning gentlemen: This post is about lady stuff.

Today I had 4 pimples on my face. I made two wrong turns driving to familiar places. I missed a required meeting. I contemplated my effectiveness as a teacher. Why all in one day? I have the answer. HORMONES!

One day my children will read this post and laugh because they will either be dealing with it themselves or have a partner dealing with it.

Hormones suck for so many reasons. Let me count the ways-

1. I am defenseless against them. I am a calm, rational person, but when my hormones are out of whack every 30 days or so, I spend 1-2 days a bit dim. I have a consistent little lump in my throat that could release tears with any little thing. And I do mean LITTLE. Today I was hanging a jacket and the hanger broke. My eyes welled with tears as I thought of all the little things in our house that need "fixing."

2. They put whiskers on my face. I am 36 years old and have 3 recurring true whiskers. What the hell? I'm a woman! Is facial hair really necessary? No. So why would nature do this to us? It just makes no sense. Yes, yes, I know the scientific concept of it, but still. It's just stupid.

3. Zits. I swear I went YEARS without getting pimples. Now, when I get my wave of hormones I get a few lovely blemishes as well. Didn't I already deal with this in adolescence? I served my time. If you're going to give me whiskers, can we skip the pimples?

4. My vision is jaded. It seems like the hormones act as a little devil on my shoulder that is out to show me that every room in the house is a mess. He whispers only the things that are faulty instead of all to be appreciated.

5. I feel tired. This 24-48 hours is when I benefit from physical activity the most, yet it is the last thing I want to do. It's like a metaphorical cane is pulling me off the stage of anything healthy and helpful.

6. I do things like make wrong turns on familiar drives and miss meetings that are important.


Here is what's good-

When I first entered womanhood I did not have many symptoms of anything really. In fact, these little waves have only been since having Ryan. The good news is that I know what's happening when it's happening.This does not always mean I can shake it off, but it does mean that I tell myself not to have any real conversations about important things because I could be irrational and unappreciative.
Furthermore, awareness is key. I am able to use my mind to try and flick that little bastard devil off my shoulder. Sometimes I am successful. Other times I am not. I feel like I am getting a bit better every time.

I love being a woman. I despise being at the mercy of my hormones.
The end.