Entering Adolescense

Do you recognize these guys? If not, you are welcome to visit Haley's bedroom where the small area over her bed is growing into the entire wall area.This is One Direction, the equivalent to my New Kids on the Block.

Why am I writing about this? Because Haley's love for this band is yet another sign that she is more of an adolescent than she is a little child. She is doing all of the things I used to do. These include:

• listening to the songs non stop 
• singing the songs non stop
• dancing to the songs non stop ( and I am sure imagining herself onstage with them like I did with New Kids)
• making fashion choices based on them- plaid shirts, jeans, converse high tops, suspenders (for me it was a black brim hat, overalls, and frosted pink lipstick)

As I observe Haley in this stage I cannot thank my parents enough for how I was treated during adolescence. They respected me and my phase of life.I was expected to keep my room clean, but it was my space to decorate and arrange anyway I wanted. New Kids posters started over my bed too and slowly expanded to every single wall and closet door. I loved being in my space.

My parents let me pick my fashion when I started having a style of my own. I chose appropriate clothing and although I am sure they didn't love all my choices, they bought them for me and I felt good in my skin. So, Mom and Dad, I hope that I can create the same comfort in Haley that you did for me. Adolescence is awkward and strange. You made me feel independent and let me explore and I thank you for that.

I think being raised that way has given me a sense of calm about this phase. I see myself in Haley (in more ways than one). The other day when I suggested we rearrange her room, which has been set up the same way since she was in a crib, her face lit up and she made all of the decisions. She asked if she could take a certain picture down and I assured her she had the power of choice- it was her space. 

I loved being in there with her as we moved things around. To me this was a sure sign that the change in her room represented a change in life. We went through her entire bookshelf and cleaned out all of the younger books, except for a few favorites. We rearranged the top of her desk. 

I did find myself taking a moment to recognize what was happening. I stared at Haley as she pinned up her boy band posters and pictures. I saw her for exactly who she is- a young lady entering a new phase of life. I don't know how our relationship will change but in that moment I felt completely connected to her. 

I loved that hour and a half being in her room with her. And, of course, loved hearing the songs of One Direction the entire time.