For me, one of the most disappointing things about becoming a mom was that every other mom wasn't automatically supportive. I still don't understand it. We are all enduring this incredible job and we all know what it's like, yet it seems to not be acceptable to talk about how really hard it is. My last post is a prime example of days we ALL have, yet few people feel ok to admit it. I am one who is guilty of it. I posted on this blog knowing that the whole world doesn't read it, just people who've I told that this blog exists.
I remember my first year teaching I walked into the staff room and heard a teacher totally venting about a challenging student. I was mortified when she said, "I just need a break from him. When he is absent it gives me a bit of relief." I thought to myself that this teacher was old and grouchy and how could she not love all of her children? Then I got some teaching experience...
That teacher was not old and grouchy. She was feeling tired and defeated. She was a teacher because she loved the job. This one student was giving her a run for her money. She felt safe to share in the staff room. She was not being inappropriate, she was being honest.
I had no idea what parenthood would be like. It has changed my life and completely for the better. I include posts like my previous one so that I am taking an honest snapshot of our life as a family. I opened the blog the other day and cringed a bit at what I had written, but how I would LOVE if more moms would express the real frustrations and toughness of this role. How freeing would it be to know that when you have days like that you are not the only one? Some people only blog or post on facebook about purely the joys of each day. We all feel the need to assure everyone that we love motherhood. Of course we do. We all know the magic of watching our children grow in all ways and knowing we made these little people. But whenever another mom, especially one I admire, speaks honestly about being a parent, I feel validated. I feel normal.
I looked at old posts and I feel it's pretty accurate. Most entries have to do with great things- funny stories or adventures. But sprinkled in there are those moments or days that were just plain hard.
That's parenthood for you- at least it is for me these past 6 and 1/2 years.
4 comments:
I have super hard days. And I sometimes blog them. But a lot of times I don't because I don't want to dwell on the hard stuff, and by the time the kids are in bed, the hard stuff seems less crazy (and I've had a glass of wine by that point!), and I want to remember and focus on the joys and sweet moments of their childhoods and our family life. Does that make sense? Also, I do feel a bit of "I chose to stay home, I still believe it's for the best, so how much can I really complain". There are certainly no perfect days 'round here, but almost all are good....ish:)
I love your honesty!!! Please keep it up. As much as I love to see pictures of the Russell adventures and see your babies grow I love to hear about the tough stuff too. Misery loves company and I want to feel like you have days like I have as a fellow mommy. Some days are good and some are so so so bad. So keep it up and know that I am here to support you!! I understand what you are saying about moms sometimes not sharing about the challenges of motherhood. Its as if they feel its a reflection upon them and their ability to parent if their kid has a tough day. It is sooooo not!!! We all have these challenges. Let's get it out there and talk about it and support one another!! So I love it and keep it coming. I always get excited when I see your blog postings pop up in my Google Reader because I know they will be funny, entertaining or heartfelt and honest and I love to feel like I am with you in this journey even though I am in AZ.
That's right Angela. You sometimes blog about those hard days which means you recognize that they happen. No one wants to write or read a blog solely about the hardships of parenthood. There is the other side of this and I have met a mom or two that ONLY complain. That doesn't work either. Whenever I have felt just wiped out by a day I have tended to blog about it. Most of our lives we live happy at the end of the day. It's easy to focus on all the awesomeness of life. It's also human to have those days that leave you fried. And yes...wine ALWAYS helps. :)
Taryn, I am so glad you love reading. I love that you are relating because that is my hope! :)
Love this post. I can say one of the reasons I refrain from venting online is because I have a few friends that would love, love, love to be moms, but cannot. I feel like when I am venting that will be interpreted as complaining...and I am not. I feel incredibly blessed to be the mom of 2 healthy kids.
Post a Comment