As I get ready for my 20th school year, I am reflecting upon and processing how I could be a better teacher and how I could better support my own kids through their school years. Every parent wants their child/ren to have a successful school year in all ways. Here are a few tips.
1. Stay Informed
Being informed is everything! Know what your school offers as far as communicating information and consistently check in. Read the papers that come home. Mark the dates in your calendar for events like Back to School Night and Open House. Check the school or class website regularly. In this digital age most grade books are online and available to families. CHECK IT DAILY.
2. Communicate
This is the second most important point I am making in this post. COMMUNICATE. Communicate with teachers, the office, and your child. At the beginning of the year set the expectation with your child about their responsibility in school. Make it clear what you expect in the school year, both at home and at school.
With my own kids I set broad and specific expectations. I let them know that I expect them to be kind and respectful to others. I expect them to do their best- that it's more about the effort than the letter grade. I let them know that on school days we do homework and 20 minutes of reading (as a family) and chores and walk/bike with the dog and that there will be a maximum of 60 minutes of screen time IF there is time.
Communicate with teachers. I cannot tell you how helpful it is to be in the know about students' personal lives. Teachers are with them for hours a day. We want to know if Fluffy the cat died or if their sister broke her arm and the whole family was at the ER the day before. It helps teachers be the best for your child.
3. Ask About School (academics last)
Ask your children about school every day. This may sound funny, but make any question about academics your last priority. Ask about something kind they did or any kindness they witnessed from others. Ask about students who seem shy or left out and talk to them about what role they could play. Ask how the teacher makes them feel. Ask to share something that made them smile or laugh. Ask about what mistakes they made. Ask who they ate lunch with or played with. Ask who they sit by in class. Ask about academics too, but not at first. In our house, I ask the kids one question a day. I used to ask several, but it was too much. Usually asking that one question results in a longer conversation and results in learning more about their day.
4. Trust the Teacher
I know there are ineffective teachers. In my experience it is rare to encounter one. With that exception, TRUST your teacher. S/he thinks about your child and is doing the best job trying to tailor make his/her educational experience. If the teacher makes a suggestion, try it. Give feedback on how you think it's going. Let the teacher know what works for your child at home. If the teacher asks for support in a specific way, give it if you are able. Trust and ask along the way. If it's not going well, ask for a meeting and include the principal.
5. Keep a Clean Backpack
Seriously, have your child clean out his/her backpack once a week.
Don't do it yourself, rather have your child do it. I need to be better about this with my own children. This will help your child stay organized, allow you to stay on top of any returned and graded work, find any birthday party invitations (we've all had that moment when we find that old invitation we didn't RSVP for!), and not miss any important flyers or school communication.
6. Consistency is Key
Stay consistent with the previous points or whatever you decide to do to support your child through the school year and don't drop the ball. This does not mean you can't change your mind about how things are done, but communicate that. Consistency is key for kids! Success happens when they know what to expect and what is expected of them.
7. Let Your Child Succeed and Fail
...and acknowledge both as learning opportunities. This is the most important point I am making today, as a teacher. One of the hardest things to watch is a parent who can't "cut the cord". I am a middle school teacher and know that in younger years kids need a lot more assistance. I am not negating that. But, even in kindergarten kids need the opportunity to both succeed and fail.
LET YOUR CHILD DO THEIR OWN WORK.
LET YOUR CHILD FORGET THEIR HOMEWORK.
LET YOUR CHILD PROCRASTINATE AND/OR MISS A DEADLINE.
LET YOUR CHILD HAVE THE CONSEQUENCE THAT COMES AT HOME AND/OR AT SCHOOL.
It's hard to do, but it's the only way they learn. When these types of failures occur, talk about how they feel about it. Ask what they could do differently next time and when that time comes, remind them of their own words about how it felt last time. This talk is so helpful for teachers because that is what's happening at school. We learn more from failure than we do from success. It's hard, but let both happen.
*Extra tip- never be afraid to gift your child's teacher with wine, especially if they're in my class. Haha!
Cheers to a great year!
