Girls

A couple of weeks ago I was able to spend 3 nights with my oldest (longest) friends. It was perfection.

We've been friends for 22 years and have shared so many life experiences. No matter how much time passes, nothing changes with how we feel about each other.

The empty chair above I called my "throne" all weekend. Why? Because my butt was planted there for most of it. And see the view? I'm no dummy.

 I still can't believe Mer owns her own brewery- how bad ass is that? Six Rivers Brewery . Check it out!

 We got to spend time hanging at the brewery, playing games, hanging with the Eureka crew, catching up on current life, and reminiscing about old times. One night we sat outside, with our drinks, and whipped up about 200 stories and laughed through all of them. A few stories we brought up, others had forgotten. It was pure delight.

The last night, after all of the local friends left (who I was delighted to see) we ended up all on the same bed bouncing around and cracking up. I was thrown back to freshman year in high school having sleep overs and not falling asleep. It was pure fun chaos- light and playful.

A perfect weekend with perfect women. How lucky am I?

The Power of Forgiveness

Yesterday morning Ryan and I went to service. After I dropped Ryan off in his little classroom, I found a spot in the back of the room. I sat down while the musical guest was signing the most touching song. His voice shot straight to my heart. It was stunningly beautiful and I instantly had a lump in my throat and tears welled up in my eyes.

I realize that my true reflection times happen either during meditation or during Sunday service. I am not distracted by anything else and am able to focus on my spiritual self. This month's theme at the center is "Forgiveness." 

There have been things happening with family that have left me sad, angry, and frustrated. As I sat throughout the service and tears ran down my face for almost the entire hour, it was clear that I was ready to move out of this phase of emotions into a place of healing.

Josh and I have talked about the most delicious food we have ever had. For me, when I take a bite of something delicious I want everyone at the table to have a bite. For Josh, he takes a bite and wants to enjoy every delectable bite for himself. Yesterday during service, I wanted everyone I knew and loved and those who have been dealing with some serious life issues, to be at the service, experiencing what I was experiencing.

For the first time ever, as Reverend David spoke, I felt compelled to take out a pen and write his words down. I took my program and started scribbling as fast as I could, for every word he said make perfect sense and he was speaking directly to my soul.

"Forgiveness is the only way to move forward. It heals us."

"When I am not forgiving I'm a victim. When I'm a victim I'm not empowered."

"Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past."

"Be spiritually responsible for yourself."

"Sometimes we are so let down because we have set up a story or myth about someone or something. Then when reality is reality we are so disappointed by the outcome."

And then the singer came back out and performed another song about letting it go. Releasing all of it. He was so inspiring.

At first my thoughts went to the people I know who are in a place in their lives right now where forgiveness would be so freeing. How empowering for those to move from victim role to healing. And then it was all too clear (a true clarifying moment in my life) that I need to do it for myself. I have definitely been so let down by reality when my story or myth was so different. How unfair is that to those I have done that to? Completely.

Parts of life have been a definite whirlwind for the last year or so. I have a new goal for myself. I know it will be healing. I know it will be freeing. I know that I have no impact on anyone else but myself.

 I live my life feeling blessed and full of love. I see most things as half full. I do not feel wronged by people. I do not feel like a victim. I had no idea I have forgiving to do, of myself and of others.

I do. I will.

Dear Haley,

We LOVE you.

You are:
8 years old
playful
kind
sensitive
smart
caring
funny
soulful
helpful
hard working
tuned in to others
independent

You like:
bread
laughing- like, hard belly laughing that you can't control
reading
have friends over to play
bacon
being low key at home
swimming
thrill rides
being with your family

You are growing and maturing on a daily basis. Your love of school and learning is so joyful to watch. You are a diligent and respectful student. You are a beautiful daughter and a loyal friend. You are thoughtful in the true meaning of the word. We can see your wheels turning as you process information and in turn make statements or ask questions. We adore watching you grow.

Dear Ryan,

We LOVE you.

You are;
4 and 1/2 years old
funny
smart
charming
ticklish
respectful
well mannered
hard headed
playful
a good friend
sensitive

You like:
wrestling
reading books
listening to 80s rock
making other people laugh
telling jokes
being silly
playing pretend with your "guys"
playing with Haley
riding your bike and your motorcycle
running "super duper" fast
cuddling

Your demeanor has changed so much and you are far more easy going than when you were a toddler. We love that you wake up happy every morning. You are joyful. You make us laugh every day as you are incredibly funny. We are so happy you were born into our family. We adore watching you grow.

Old Photos

From 2009...

Happiest Place on Earth

We drove from Palm Springs to Disneyland. This trip would count as the first real time the kids went to the parks. We went when Haley was 2 and again when she was 3 and Ryan was 4 months. We were in Anaheim for a wedding and stayed directly across from the park. This time was the real deal. We were prepared for the madness of what Disneyland can be- crowds, long lines, melt downs. This turned out to be one of our best trips ever. I know I always say that, but it really was fantastic.

 The excitement from the kids was over the top. It was just so sweet and child like. They were bursting at the seams. Jake and Cita decided, last minute, to surprise their kids and join us that first day. How fun to experience the energy with cousins!

The kids were awesome. We were up and at 'em early in the morning and stayed out with no breaks (which we intended to do). The kids just asked for more each day and no one was whining. They were thrilled after each experience.

We owned the whole pass system. We had never used it before (that's how long it's been). We mastered the Fast Pass, Adult Switch Pass and the Single Rider Pass. Josh and I had to ride California Screamin' and since we did it separately- the Single Rider Pass was key.

Haley was crazy and she went on EVERYTHING! Well, not California Screaming (she was a bit nervous about the upside down part) but she went on all other coasters and thrill rides...multiple times.

Ryan's favorites were Pirates and Soaring Over California. He got just as big of a rush as his sister did on the big rides.

We were blessed to meet up with some friends who live in the area and some other friends who happen to be there the same time we were. We enjoyed park time and a couple of meals together.

I was constantly reminded, throughout the long days, that the kids are older and simply in a different phase. We were all pooped by the end of each evening, but the energy was electric and the vacation, to me, was perfection. Not only do I love my little family, but I enjoy them so much. Their personalities are so fun.

A highlight for me what how well they got along the whole time. They usually do, but they are siblings after all. After we'd go on a ride they would immediately report to each other. If they sat next to each other on a ride, they talked to each other the whole time. "Ryan! Wasn't that so fun?!" "Sissy! I got Zurg! Did you see that?" "Ryan, you were so brave!" "Sissy! That pirate almost got us!"

Disneyland really was the happiest place on earth for the Russell Four! It's a trip I will never forget.

Palm Springs

I really am catching up on the blog. I don't want to skip over significant events, as the purpose of this blog is to capture our lives as it happens.

Over the February break we went to Palm Springs with my family. My parents treated us to their time share there.When you're a kid you cannot know how special it is to have times like these. As an adult, I am fully aware of how priceless family time is. I cherish it like nothing else.

The highlights of the trip were pool time and our card night. The pool at this resort was so fun. Two pools, 2 water slides and two hot tubs (one that was in a cave). We were out there every day for multiple hours. The day we checked in we had been in the car 7 hours. When we met up, our rooms weren't quite ready and we didn't have our stuff out of the car. The kids put their feet in the pool by the steps and little by little they were all the way in, fully clothed and fully swimming. It was awesome.

My other stand out time was our last night there. The kids had all fallen asleep and they we were, with my parents and brother and sister-in-law. We made cocktails and played cards for a couple of hours. The teasing, the laughing, the fun- all of it was spectacular. We just don't have times like that anymore. Our together time has changed so much in adulthood. Our card night felt like a night in the house we all grew up in together. Jake and my only objective was to screw over the other sibling. It was fun.

 Haley, our little fish, found it relaxing to put on her brother's water wings.

 Cereal with no spoon!