Our Little Pumpkins

Haley's first pumpkin.

Ryan's first pumpkin.

Proud

Last Friday I felt the pride of being a mom and a wife. My day went something like this...

Assembly at Haley's school to see her receive a Student of the Month Award.

Pick up Ryan after school to learn he had a full week of doing his best and making good choices. Not one incident at all.

Go to a San Jose community event with Josh and the family at Happy Hollow. Be introduced to many people and hear Josh praised privately as well over the microphone during the presentation.

It was the best day. I was beaming with pride for every member of my family. I love the days when all is right. I had a permanent smile from sun up to sun down.

Not Now, Buckwheat

About a month ago, the kids were introduced to "The Little Rascals." It's silly and classic and cute. Well, now Ryan has an imaginary crocodile named Buckwheat.
The other day I put him in the car and he said, "Not now, Buckwheat. Sorry, Mom. Buckwheat is making bad choices."
Buckwheat is a good croc who was having a bad day. Ry does a very good job keeping him in check. Buckwheat sleeps with him along with some "bad guys who are my friends." They keep him safe at night, keep him company in the car, and come in every morning to say good morning with Ryan.
It's so cute seeing the imaginary play. He's been doing it with things for a long time, but this is the first with "air." I love it.

Bees Suck

I don't REALLY feel this way, but I did this last weekend. Last month Haley was bit by a wasp in my parents' backyard. This made her resistant to want to hang out there anymore (which is normally where we are at my parents' house). She has always been afraid of bees. Being bitten on the finger did not help.

This weekend we were swimming at a friend's house. Haley, and others, were in the pool and I was sitting on the side with my feet in. I looked up and saw a bee walking up her face under her eye. I was not in my suit but tried to walk calmly toward her, in the pool, to swipe the bee off of her face before she knew what was happening. I saw her face react once she felt the bee under her eye and I told her to go under water. She came up crying. The bee had stung her and she handed me the stinger she had pulled out. I wrapped her in a towel and sat with her while my friend got some ice.

She asked me why the bee had stung her this time. last time my mom figured out that she had eaten an orange before she went outside the the bee was attracted to the sweetness. Plus we have said in the past, that bees don't like to go swimming, so she's fine in the water. Well, this sucked. There was no answer. I do not know why the bee was walking on her face and stung her. She totally calmed down and went on her way.

That morning I woke up at 4:00 pondering the situation. What if I had not told her to go under? Did she get stung because the bee was stunned from the water? Did I cause this to happen? What if I told her to swat it away? What if I jumped in faster and got it off? Why the hell was I thinking about this at 4 in the morning?

The answer? As a parent I want to prevent my kids from pain. Any kind of pain. This was a small deal, but I couldn't help feel guilt that I couldn't stop it from happening when I was right there. After that bee stung her it was on her shoulder walking around. I took it off and threw it aside. What I wanted to do was take the bee in my hand and yell, "What did you do that for? She wasn't going to hurt you! Now you stung her and your stinger's gone and now you're going to die. That's what you get for wasting your stinger on an innocent girl!"

The feeling is not just toward the bee. It's toward anyone/anything who causes pain for my children. A parent will calmly walk in the pool with her clothes on (sure I flailed and fell on my ass) to protect her child from harm.

The next morning Haley had forgotten about it, but I had lost sleep. Turns out that the bee stung her before she went under. She said she liked going under because it got it off her face. I saw her face change before I told her to go under. She was actually getting stung, not just realizing a bee was on her face. This made me feel better. Well, just a little.

It's a Love/Hate Relationship

What I love about my job:
1. The work itself is challenging and rewarding.
2. Every day is different.
3. I can leave work by 3:30.
4. I love the students and the age.
5. I have a lot of vacation time with my family.
6. The possible impact on a child's life is awesome.
7. I work with cool people.
8. I am always learning/changing.
9. I feel good about what I do.
10. I get to laugh every day at work
11. It helps pay the bills.

What I hate about my job:
1. It is not flexible (definite start and end times and can't just call in late or sick).
2. I have to rely on other friends and family members to get my kids from A-Z.
3. I can't be there to take Haley to school or pick her up at 2:00 every day (soon this will be Ryan too).

There are only 3 things in this column, but they kill me sometimes. I just want to be there for my kids at all times. I don't like relying on people for rides and care. We are so lucky to have so much support. We love the people who help us. I know how lucky we are to be healthy and stable.
There are just times that I want it all...is that so bad?

1st Grade

First Grade!!! Yes, first grade. I keep waiting for someone to stop me and say I am far too young to have a first grader, yet no one blinks an eye. What's that about?
She started a few weeks ago and is loving school. So awesome.

Laughter

There is no better feeling in the world than laughter. Ok, I know that sounds like the corniest thing, but it is so true. To me it is simply the best. Since I can remember I have always loved laughing. I mean LOVED. Growing up my little brother cracked me up. I always laughed at whatever he did, encouraging him to do it more, even if it wasn't the right things that he should be doing and at times he got in trouble. Then I was told not to encourage him. But he couldn't stop making me laugh and I couldn't stop laughing. It's just how we worked. In school, I was the one ALWAYS laughing (encouraging) the class clown. What a perfect gig for me! I got to laugh and be entertained at someone doing something in class I would never dream of doing and, for the most part, stayed out of trouble for it. my encouragement was never intended to get anyone in trouble, only to get me to laugh.

 I have to say that not much has changed as an adult. I still love laughter. I am drawn to people who laugh a lot since it is one of my favorite things to do. I love seeing people in a laughing spell too. The kind where no sound comes out and your face is frozen but your body is shaking. The kind that hurts your temples and your sides and produces tears. It's contagious and it's the best. I married someone who I think is one of the funniest people on the planet. He has the best sense of humor. This all makes sense to me as we were raised in a house of laughter. It's how we got through everything! And now we have another comedian in the house. I know I have another entry about this in months past, but the kid gets funnier by the day. Ryan has all the best qualities from my little brother that way. He is not always meaning to be funny, but once he gets the laugh he is off and running. He makes up songs and games and sayings that put all of us in stitches. I've never seen Haley laugh as hard as she does with her brother. He is funny.

Like, I said, who doesn't love laughter? I think some people may not appreciate a sense of humor in certain situations. I can thank my parents for instilling in us that there is humor in anything. Laughter can be had through any time. I married into the Russells, who share the same philosophy and raised their kids the same way. I feel comfortable knowing that there will be teasing at all times and that any little mistake will not slip by without some ridicule.
I will never forget when a friend came over for dinner while we lived in the teacher apartments. At the end of the night she said, "is it always like this or just because I came over?"
I am happy to say it is always like this. Not every moment of every day, but every day we laugh and we laugh hard. And what's better than that?