Daughters

Recently, while scrolling through FaceBook, I came across this article about raising a daughter. It caught my eye and got me thinking about Haley growing up and all that it entails. My mom and I didn't have serious talks about real issues until I became older. I know that my parents were both there for me. I wonder how certain things were instilled in me like self respect, compassion for others, and wearing age appropriate clothes? Haley is VERY MUCH like me in so many ways (so far). She is changing- growing up. I love it all. I am doing my best to be the best mom for her. I pray I am doing what she needs.

Below are some excerpts from the article (one reason I enjoyed it was because of the humor) and my thoughts.

Nine years ago, a doctor handed me a pink bundle and said, "She's yours."

And while it wasn't said out loud, I'm pretty sure the "don't screw her up" was implied. I could swear I heard it, though.

Since the day that pink bundle was resting on my C-section scar, the weight and enormity of raising a confident, plucky, strong girl has never been far from my mind.

These days, with social media, celebrities who weigh approximately 46 pounds, mean girls and Miley Cyrus, parents of girls have their work cut out for them. Literally CUT OUT, since Miley almost never wears anything with fewer than four see-through holes.

Lately, I have found myself quietly watching the little girl we used to have transform into a young lady, and if I'm being honest, that transformation has me running scared. She just turned 9 this week, which means I only have nine more years to get her ready to fight for herself in the real world.

Nine more years to make sure she knows how to braise a roast, manage her iCloud storage and distinguish between a douchebag and Prince Charming.

That's not a lot of time.

What if I forget to tell her something? What if I miss an opportunity to impress upon her the importance of never buying sheets with less than a 200 thread count? What if she leaves my house without ever having learned how to make the Thanksgiving stuffing her father's side of the family eats (it's DISGUSTING but, dammit, she needs to know....).

There are just SO. MANY. THINGS I want her to know. Like:

1. Girls should never apologize for saying NO. Say it to boyfriends, bosses, scary PTA moms and the pushy lady at Bath and Body Works. And own it. Because you are allowed.
2. Every girl should own one couch that they picked out with no one else's opinion except their own.
3. You may love him now, but his mother loved him first. Respect that.
4. Knowing how to cook will save you hundreds of dollars in your first apartment.
5. Life is too short for cheap haircuts and flimsy pink razors. Pay extra for both.
6. Jackie Onassis never wore Daisy Dukes. You shouldn't either.
7. The man to marry is the one who will stand next to you, not in front of you.
8. Shoes and handbags ALWAYS fit. So buy the good ones.
9. There will be women who will judge you, challenge you and try to break your spirit. Ignore them. Smile at them. Pity them.
10. When money is tight, peanut butter has protein, oranges prevent scurvy and 10 bottles of wine are necessary.
11. If you are going through it, your mother probably did, too. Ask for her advice.
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13. I would add:
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15. Be attracted to people who make you feel good about yourself and about the world.
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17. Always stop and help when you see someone who needs it. Especially when you don't have the time.
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19. Host friends and family in your home.
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21. If/when you are ready to wear make-up, let me know. One of the best things my mom did for me was take me to get my make up done. Maybe it was the pink eye shadow, pink blush, and pink lip gloss that gave her the hint that I needed some help.
22. 
    
23. Trust your gut. Our heads and hearts can talk us in and out of anything. Your core does not lie.
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1. And this list is just the tip of the iceberg. I didn't even get into the merits of binge-watching Netflix after a stressful work week, the necessity of milk chocolate or the fact that her thighs won't always look like they do when she's 16. There is so very much that I want to tell her, that I don't want to forget to mention or expound on. To somehow make it easier for her to grow into the woman I know she'll become. As I look at her now, sitting next to me, quietly doing homework, I am in awe of her. Speechless, really, as I watch this beautiful creature grow right before my eyes.
2. Fortunately, I still have nine years to remember what I want to say.

It's so true. I know she is learning so much from so many good influences in her life.  I do find myself in awe of Haley, pausing in a random moment of time and absorbing all that is "her."

I usually lump my parental feelings/thoughts and apply them to both of my children. I appreciate this article for providing the time to focus in on my beautiful daughter.