Being Human

One of the most unattractive qualities, to me, is being unappreciative. There are some people who find it very easy to complain and very hard to find the good in life, especially those who have so much to be grateful for.

Of course we all have moments or phases in our life that warrant complaints. And, of course, everyone gets to feel down when life isn't at its height, but some people are consistently good about complaining about life, in general, no matter what is going on. It's hard for me to listen to or be around.

That's why it kills me when I dip into a place of envy or self deprecation.It's an ugly place to go. As I have gotten older, these moments are more seldom and are fleeting at best. But, Friday got the best of me and I hated it.

We had a TGIF for our staff. A fellow staff member hosted at her beautiful home. I walked in and all I saw was all that I didn't have- modern decor, a tree lined street, a big backyard. The house was lovely. I then came home and got changed into my cozy clothes. All I saw in the mirror were my physical flaws.

I was able to switch over from negativity to positivity fairly quickly. I do appreciate that I do not stay in that place for long.And (sorry for any males who read this blog) but it was the worst time of the month, hormonally speaking.
 I felt ashamed for feeling those feelings when I have so much to be grateful for.

I wasn't going to talk about it, but when I confided in a friend that I had gone there the day before (after a margarita), she responded in the most nonjudgmental way.

"Jen, of course. We all do that and go there. I know how grateful you are in life. It's just part of being human."

Her response made me feel better, and it's exactly what I would say to someone else. Sometimes I just want to be better (more gracious, less judgmental) than I am. I guess that is part of being human too.

The best thing is that after I felt that way Friday, my weekend was filled with signs of things to be grateful for. Blatant signs, as often show up when I need them thrown in my face.

All part of the journey...