Perspective

Every time I go long periods without writing any entries, I always wonder what I should post first. Should I just pick up where we left off and share events and stories? Should I write about what's been on my mind the most?
Yes, I will go with that.

I do feel like as I get older I do get wiser. I do not think I am necessarily a wise person, but as I learn certain lessons, they tend to stick and cause a shift in my life for the better. I feel I live graciously and gratefully (for the most part). I feel I am caring and empathetic (for the most part). I feel like I practice what I preach (for the most part).

I have so much to learn and gain, but feel I am always getting better. With that said, there are definitely times that I start to slip from grace. My foot has met the banana peel of old habits and there are times when I stumble. The transition from summer life to work life is always one of those times. Some years it lasts for a fleeting moment. Some times longer.

I know that I have not been at the top of my game lately and have found myself checking in with friends after an encounter where perhaps I was insensitive or just plain bratty. I never really realize that I'm sliding down until I just know that I'm not my best. These are never major dips but things like, " I wish I had_____ (you fill in the blank)." Instead of, "I am so grateful to have_____." The moment I say the words "I am so grateful to have..." I am able to snap myself back from any degree of pity party.

The last few weeks I have had some blasting reminders of just how blessed I am.

We did some home visits to a few at risk students.
Seeing how some of them live= blasting reminder. 
Hearing that a good friend of my friend is losing her battle with cancer and has three small children= blasting reminder. 
Going to a memorial for a childhood friend's mother who left too soon= blasting reminder.

I know how good I have it. Even when it's not at the forefront of my mind, it is embedded in my soul. I am ashamed and embarrassed when I say things that do not reflect my gratitude. We are all human and all need to vent and get things off our chests. I do get that. I always want to do that without diminishing all of the blessings that are my life.

Everything that is truly important to me is in place at this moment. In this moment I have a clear perspective. The signs are clear when I slip and need reminders.

Always learning, always growing.